AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #638

“One Moment in Time, Chapter One: Something Old”

“Writer”: Joe Quesada

Penciler: Paolo Rivera and Joe Quesada

Inker: Paolo Rivera and Danny Miki

Colorist: Paolo Rivera and Richard Isanove

Featuring pages from The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 by …

Plotter: Jim Shooter

Scripter: David Michelinie

Penciler: Paul Ryan

Inker: Vince Colletta

Colorist: Bob Sharen

“Spidey Sundays”

Writer: Stan Lee

Penciler: Marcos Martin

Inker: Marcos Martin

Colorist: Muntsa Vicente

Cover Art: Paolo Rivera

Variant Cover 1: Joe Quesada, Danny Miki, and Richard Isanove

Variant Cover 2: Joe Quesada and Danny Miki

Be warned – there are SPOILERS ahead!

At last, we are here.

For the last two and a half years, Marvel has been stringing Spider-Man fans along with the promise of answers.  Like the jerks behind Lost, they continued to introduce new mysteries without solving the old ones, leaving many fans disenfranchised by their empty promises.  Finally, with “One Moment in Time,” they promised to explain that lingering question of what happened on the fateful wedding day of Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson.  This was set up to be one of the most important Spider-Man stories ever told – one that would, at last, give a satisfying answer to our questions.

They failed.

The Plot

In a brief flashback to One More Day, we learn what Mary Jane told Mephisto.  Cut to present day, with Mary Jane dropping in unexpectedly to pay Peter a visit.  After some awkward conversation, we cut back to the lead-up to their wedding (told in a mix of reprints and new pages).  A bunch of goons helps Electro escape from police custody, but Spider-Man swoops in and captures them.  The Devil Bird from One More Day appears and helps one of the goons, Eddie Muerte, escape.  Eddie gets help and information from a sharply-dressed man working for a mysterious employer.  Meanwhile, Peter and Mary Jane are having their doubts about getting married.  Early on the morning of the wedding, Peter goes out as Spider-Man and comes across Eddie chasing a police officer (the one whose information he received earlier) on a rooftop.  Spidey saves the officer and his wife, but Eddie catches him off-guard and makes an escape.  Thanks to some crumbling bricks, Eddie falls off of the roof and Spider-Man tries to save him.  Instead, they plummet down into an alleyway, with Eddie landing on top of Spidey and knocking him out.  This causes Peter to miss his wedding later that day.

The Good

Paolo Rivera is a good artist.

The Bad

Strap yourselves in, this is about to get ugly.

The first thing I should discuss, to get it out of the way, is the structure of the book itself.  Joe Quesada draws the modern-day scenes between Peter and Mary Jane, and the flashbacks are a mix of reprint material from The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21 and new scenes written by Quesada and drawn by Paolo Rivera.  The art changes are simply jarring, with no uniformity whatsoever.  The reprints are presented as they originally appeared, without any recoloring or even lettering changes, save for a few lead-in and lead-out panels drawn by Rivera.  The result is not only a poor mishmash of conflicting styles, but also a desecration of superior source material.  The reprint material is literally butchered and stripped of context to be used for Quesada’s goals.  It’s lazy, stupid, and a poor way to balloon the pagecount.

The pages drawn by Quesada are brutally awful.  Peter and Mary Jane must have been retconned into alien shape-shifters, because their faces literally change from panel to panel.  Peter goes from being Joe Quesada (seriously), to having a pointed chin and an inverted-triangle-shaped head, to having a wide chin and a box-shaped head, to being one of the guys that played Doctor Who recently, all in the span of three pages.  Seriously, if you don’t know how to draw faces properly, why would you write a script that calls for repeated close-ups?  The pages drawn by Paolo Rivera are very nice, but he’s totally squandered on this turd.  Getting him to draw this story is like gathering up an elite group of the finest soldiers this country has ever had, putting them under the command of General Douglas MacArthur, and then sending them to beat up hippies.  What a waste.

Now, to the story.  Essentially, Quesada took a well-written and entertaining comic book (The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21), chopped it into pieces, removed most of the significant character moments, and inserted padded, slowly-developing segments with a greasy thug.

But wait … I’m missing something here …

Oh, right.  The first two pages.

You see, the first two pages depict what Mary Jane said to Mephisto at the end of One More Day.  Kind of.  First of all, Quesada is credited with “drawing” these pages, which consist of a single black page and another black page with a reprinted panel from The Amazing Spider-Man #545.  (I really want to know what Joe got paid to “draw” these.)  Secondly, the first page consists only of captions of old dialogue.  Right off the bat, a wasted page.  Finally, we get to what Mary Jane said: “I know Peter.  He will never make this deal with you, never, EVER – unless – I ask him to.  But if I do, this is the end of it – you will leave him alone for the rest of his days.”  So much for the idea that they made the decision together, right?  The entire purpose of this brief introduction seems to be to try to make Mary Jane look like a manipulative bitch and/or an asshole.  Nice.

Anyway, back to the “plot.”  Honestly, it’s tough to call it that, because it’s mostly piggybacking on the plot of the annual.  Of the 42 pages of the book, 14 are reprints, and 8 are taken up by Quesada’s frame story.  That leaves 20 pages for the meat, and most of it is wasted with padding and exposition needed to tie it into the annual.  As I was saying, though …  This greasy thug, Eddie Muerte (he has been turned into a Hispanic man even though he appears to be a blonde white guy in the reprints), is freed by that damn Devil Bird from One More Day.  Once freed, he gets some information about a police officer and attacks him at his apartment, leading to a chase on the roof of the building.  Eddie threatens the cop and talks about his wife (after all, this book isn’t rapey enough, right?), but Spider-Man swoops in to save the day.  And then …

The Ugly

… a series of circumstances lead to them tumbling off of the roof and into an alley, with Eddie landing directly on top of Spidey.  This causes Peter to miss his wedding day.

You read that correctly.  PETER MISSES HIS WEDDING DAY BECAUSE HE’S PINNED UNDERNEATH A FAT GUY.  The same character that lifted a falling subterranean base to save the life of his Aunt, the same guy that stood toe-to-toe with Firelord and the Juggernaut and held his own, and WON, a man with superhuman strength and speed and a will that can change the world – he missed his wedding because he was KO’d and pinned underneath a fat guy.

Now, when I took this gig, I promised myself that I would try to meet a certain level of decorum in my reviews.  While these are opinion pieces by definition, and my personal writing style is what got me the job in the first place, there are certain guidelines that I attempt to follow when writing these reviews.  For one thing, I generally avoid profanity and swearing (outside of my frequent use of “goddamn”) for the sake of keeping these reviews friendly and conversational.  That’s a tough balance for me, because I am an inherently emotional person that speaks my mind.  I know that these reviews in particular, due to the hype and controversy surrounding “One Moment in Time,” will likely be the most-viewed reviews I have written to date.  As such, I made a pact to be especially careful with wording these reviews.  After reading the issue, I came to one conclusion …

Fuck that shit.

This comic is steaming cesspool of ass, a catastrophe so colossal in scope and magnitude that it aims to destroy what little is left of its fanbase.  How could Marvel demean itself by producing such a steaming pile of shit?  You would think that after two and a half years, Quesada and Co. would have managed to come up with a decent scenario for such a significant occurrence in Spider-Man history instead of the bubbling turd they blew out of their asses and splattered onto the pages of this issue.  I can almost imagine Quesada looking at his computer screen with his squinty eyes and getting that smug smirk on his face, pleased with the latest of his insults to the very fanbase that supports his organization.

Make no mistake, this is a direct insult to fans of the marriage – no, fuck that, fans of The Amazing Spider-Man itself.  And I mean FANS – not the groveling sycophants that continue to dig their heads into the sand and pretend that nothing is wrong, not the ones that try to curry the favor of their gods on message boards by sucking up to them and singing the praises of shit like this issue.  Honest-to-goodness, lifelong, real Spider-Man fans shouldn’t have to stand for this.  At this moment of time in Spider-Man history, everything is wrong!

I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell: “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”  Things have got to change.  But first, you’ve gotta get mad!  You’ve got to say, “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!”  Then we’ll figure out what to do about the retcons and the price increases and the shitty writing.  But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it:I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

The Bottom Line

This is an insult I’m not going to stand for.  0 out of 5 webheads.

91 Responses to “THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #638 Review”

  1. #1 BDog says:

    FUCK YES! GREAT REVIEW G!

  2. #2 Donovan Grant says:

    And thus with this review, the second wave of Brand New Day Spider-Man has truly begun. Strap yourselves in, as not everyone will make it out of here intact.

  3. #3 eddiebrock says:

    I have a big smile on my face after reading this review. I dare say you put more effort into this review than Marvel did for this issue (and maybe even the rest of the arc judging from how bad this first issues appears to be.)

  4. #4 Extreme Spider says:

    He Missed Their Wedding Cause A Dude FELL On HIM?? A Dude FUCKING Fell ON Him?:? SON OF A BITCH!! Nice Going Quesada!! Nice. Nice Review Gerald.

  5. #5 Funnykay says:

    This isn’t Brand New Day anymore, this is something, much, MUCH WORSE! It’s kinda like in Digemon (poor example but fuck it) when they beat Devimon but suddenly it turned out there were faaaaaar worse enemies on the horizon

  6. #6 Venomaniac says:

    You didnt even mention the fact THEY RETCONNED THE RETCON!

  7. #7 Tom K.W. says:

    I cannot believe it. I was going to pick up this issue tomorrow, but cannot believe how god-awful it sounds. What a shit biscuit.

  8. #8 Hertz says:

    And awaaaayyyy we go! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

  9. #9 Berserkfury819 says:

    This issue was a crap salad with diarrhea sauce.

  10. #10 TimmyG says:

    Well at least I have some nice art on some pages to look forward to. Seriously? A Fat man? Like the kind that eat cheesecake???

  11. #11 Two-Bit Specialist says:

    @Gerard – So, I gather you didn’t like this issue? ;)

    In all seriousness, I think we all knew going in that there was simply no acceptable answer for the history according to OMD. Granted, they one-up’d us by having a generic thug knock him out and make him miss his wedding, but no excuse would’ve been satisfying enough to warrant this brand new era. It would’ve been far better to have them call off the wedding as a joint decision, but what do I know?

  12. #12 Bryan says:

    I have long stopped giving Marvel my money for Amazing Spider Man, and certainly won’t be buying One Omit In Time (trademarked by me). However, if someone I know buys it I will read it without paying for it, but I’m sure this review accurately describes this crapfest. Firstly, haven’t we learned that artists don’t necessarily make great writers (Todd McFarlane, anyone?), so I’m sure Quesada probably can’t write either. Since BND started, I have been re-reading old ASM instead to get my weekly spidey fix and will happily continue doing so. I hope no ones buys One Omit In Time (TM) and Marvel is left with tens of thousands of unsold copies on their hand. What a sad day it is when I’m looking more forward to Superman comics each month than Spider-Man, but alas the current editorial regime at Marvel has destroyed my (and I’m sure many of your) favorite character.

  13. #13 Two-Bit Specialist says:

    @Bryan – That says a lot, considering Superman #701 wasn’t good either.

  14. #14 Bryan says:

    I actually quite enjoyed it. I didn’t find it hokey or melodramatic like some others did, but then again I’ma sap who likes It’s a Wonderful Life, and we live in a snarky, sarcastic world

  15. #15 Smokey says:

    Eeeeh wasnt that bad. I like Peter and MJ together, even if its only to talk. But you’re right, the reason for missing the wedding is redicilous. Also, I havent read ASM Annual 21 for a long time – was MJ still the hip party girl by that time?

  16. #16 CrazyChris says:

    If I were you, I would have saved my 0/5. There’s still three issues left, and there’s still plenty of room for it to get worse!

  17. #17 Funnykay says:

    Who says 0/5 is as low as it goes? We could be in negative numbers before the end of OMIT

  18. #18 Gerard Delatour II says:

    @CrazyChris: Funny thing about our mathematical system — it goes into negative numbers. ;)

  19. #19 Nick MB says:

    As has been pointed out elsewhere, if it was just a case of Peter being momentarily incapacitated by some guy falling on him, surely they’d have rescheduled the wedding? Especially considering they apparently remained together after the failed attempt at getting married. I’m going to assume the real reason they didn’t get married is still to come.

  20. #20 JGC says:

    I was scared at the end of Gerard’s review.

  21. #21 Gamer7 says:

    lol nice review…. i wasnt going to pick this up anyway – but now i think they have just dug up some old animosity… lolz… idiots.

  22. #22 Gerard Delatour II says:

    @JGC: You’ve never seen Network? You should rent it, it’s an awesome movie. ;)

  23. #23 Two-Bit Specialist says:

    @JGC You’re supposed to be MAD, not scared! It’s time to be MEN, not boys! ;)

  24. #24 dan says:

    “I actually quite enjoyed it. I didn’t find it hokey or melodramatic like some others did, but then again I’ma sap who likes It’s a Wonderful Life, and we live in a snarky, sarcastic world”

    My favorite thing about this comic is going to be the terrible, nonsensical apologia for it.

    ‘It’s a Wonderful Life is a great movie THEREFORE I enjoyed this comic blaming a man’s wife for his decision to sell his marriage to Satan’ is currently the best I’ve seen, but I have hopes that we’ll climb to greater heights before the day is through.

  25. #25 JGC says:

    @Gerard: No I haven’t. I did watch your clip from the message board and now it makes sense…

    @Two-Bit Specialist: I’m having trouble getting mad, I’m simply confused. I have no idea where OMIT goes from here. Does Spidey get beat by a midget next?

  26. #26 TimmyG says:

    Anyone notice how One Moment In Times intitials are OMIT? Maybe we really are suppost to just OMIT this from the continuity (if its as bad as you say it is) I as always will have to pick it up myself to see, but now doesnt Grim Hunt seem better to the haters?

  27. #27 The_Milkman says:

    @dan – He’s comparing It’s A Wonderful Life to Superman #701. Sorry to be “that guy”. If you like JMS’s work I also recommend it.

    Anyway back to Spider-Man, this review sums up exactly how I feel and I do agree with the reviewer, we need to do something about this. Because I’m sure like everyone else here I’ve read some BAD issues of Spider-Man, but I’m in shock. I’m in shock that this is how Marvel likes to treat one of their biggest (if not THE biggest) characters. I really can’t believe what I just read, these authors like to treat Peter Parker like their own personal punching bag. And to a certain extent that’s ok, when done correctly the “Infamous Peter Parker Luck” can be a good read. But I really feel for the guy, especially now after reading this issue. We all know he is just a comic book character and I’m not sure if I’m the only one who feels this way or not but I feel REALLY sorry for the guy. My heart really goes out to him. These writers can be out of control sometimes with the crap they put Peter through. I mean enough is enough, I feel as though nothing good ever happens to him.

    Regardless of what anyone thinks of this marriage that now never happened, at least during the marriage you know that Peter had something (or in this case someone) in his life that wasn’t bringing him down. One constant thing that made his crazy life a little less crazy. It brought stability and even a balance to the character. It also makes sense cause after all the crap Spider-Man goes through he finally gets the girl. This also (in my opinion) brought *gasp* growth to the character! But growth is bad at Marvel, everything needs to be reset every ten years or so. I feel like a petition is necessary and I know that there are people who like this and will write an ass kissing letter to the Spider-Mail about how Peter Parker is such an “everyman” and “he’s just like you and me”. *shudders*

    This was the final straw, I tried to find bright spots in recent issues and I did. I feel like Quesada has a big smile on his face, thinking about how much of a genius he is. There will always be flaws and there will be things that happen I won’t like and I know that but this is insulting, to all of us. Sorry about the rant and I usually never comment on message boards but I really amazed that a comic like this was printed. It’s a damn shame.

  28. #28 Iron Lantern says:

    @ Dan: I’m pretty sure Brian’s comment like that was referring to Superman #701, what Two-Bit mentioned to him before.

    I don’t think there’s anything I can say about this issue that everybody else already hasn’t. Well there is one… “I loved it!”. =(

  29. #29 NOT OMD/OMIT Fan says:

    Can you give this issue a perfectly NEGATIVE -10/10

    WOW, the MJ line was written when OMD was though its good

  30. #30 Doc Folsome says:

    I didn’t know what was going on after i read this comic…so a cinder to the temple and a fat guy landing on him put Spidey out COLD for more than 8 hours?…that seems really weak to me…someone slipped him a mickey…otherwise, wow….

    AND i didn’t know what was going on after i read this review, i thought about which window i’d go to…nice work on the review Gerard…

  31. #31 Javi Trujillo says:

    Hey, Doc, maybe he was hitting the apple juice hard that morning!

    So what was the point of us not knowing for years what MJ whispered/ I always assumed it was to leave themselves an out or set up for a twist, but the dialogue as shown in the review gives us nothing! There is no reason for it to have been a mystery!

  32. #32 david says:

    time travel retcon… bwahahah … LAME

    would have preferred a mind wipe… time travel is so lame.

  33. #33 david says:

    Mephisto stole Doom’s mother’s soul.

    Mephisto kidnapped Silver Surfers Girlfriend

    Mephisto bargained for Johnny Blazes soul (btw jonny blaze is in eternal pain with Zarathos bound to him – fate worse than hell and he goes around giving the pennance stare to people cause he is the eternal bad mouther fucker) -F.Y.I

    ..but what im getting at here is.. its not uncommon for Mephisto to fuck around with characters like this..

    but this is the LAMEST… time travel Gweneth Paltrow SLiding Doors style…. bwahahhahahah so lame folks.. so lame.

  34. #34 Bryan says:

    @The_Milkman: thank you for having basic reading skills, something Dan apparently lacks, and pointing out to to him that I was referring to liking Superman 701. Considering two posts before that I wrote a whole paragraph about how I’ve hated BD and Omit, I thought that was obvious.

  35. #35 Bryan says:

    Bur regardless, I agree with the reviewer and everyone’s sentiment that we need to make it clear to Marvel we won’t accept this. Hopefully, no one will buy this book, it sells horribly, and maybe Marvel will think about what they’re doing. Money talks.

  36. #36 Who's next says:

    Great review, Gerard. I haven’t given Marvel any money in a long time and I still won’t until they wake up.

  37. #37 Spider-Dad says:

    Way to go Marvel. You just made 20 years of Spider-Man history one big issue of “What-If…”. Plus, how stupid did Quesada make MJ? “I know Peter. He will never make this deal with you, never, EVER – unless – I ask him to. But if I do, this is the end of it – you will leave him alone for the rest of his days.” RIIIGGGHT. The prince of lies will leave him alone because MJ said this? Any bets Mephisto backs out of the unmasking, thus the “blindspot” by someone else…

    This is as bad as it gets. I am embarrassed to be a Spider-Man fan. Thank you, Marvel.

  38. #38 Johann says:

    I completly agree with you Gerard. I hate what Marvel has done to Spidey throughout all the mess that has been OMD. Truth be told a couple of things here and there were good, but this is really just is a slap in the face and no real spider-man fan should endure this type of mistreatment. I was really hoping for a story that made sense at least, something that would make the story meaningful, but this is just shameful.

  39. #39 david says:

    the only thing i hate is the way that a awesome issue of spider-man wont end with Peter jumping into bed with the hottest woman in the marvel universe…

    way to go assholes.

  40. #40 BD says:

    A fat guy, really? Wow!!!!! I can’t wait to read it.

  41. #41 Two-Bit Specialist says:

    @Bryan – I think a lot of people got mad at JMS for writing Superman in utterly out-of-character ways. I mean, it’s like he completely forgot how to be a regular human being.

    I don’t mean to derail the conversation, but I figured it’d be ok since Spider-man and Superman have a lot of things in common: controversial JMS runs, flagship heroes being written out of character, bad storylines…

  42. #42 LUNI_TUNZ says:

    Ah yes, I knew this review would deliver. I also loved the “real fans” bit, it’s a classic.

    That said, I personally didn’t care much for this issue. (but mainly because I could really care less about the marriage at this point, or care more – which ever implies, that I don’t care about the marriage much)

    And since somebody brought up Supes, that whole “Walk across America” plot seems like total crap, but then again, I haven’t actually read it so.

    and I still dig the whole Spidey Sundays bit.

    Well then, same time, next week (after next week) then.

  43. #43 Two-Bit Specialist says:

    I byrned this while I was buying Daredevil #508 and Thunderbolts #146 today (both which I highly recommend). It only made me wish I was actually reading the Amazing Spider-man Annual #21.

  44. #44 Murf says:

    Great review. And sadly I expected nothing better from the Spider Trust.
    I started collecting Spidey in the mid-70’s and although I stopped buying years ago, the existence of excellent fan sites like this one (and SKB) has made it possible to keep up with developments while I wait for things to turn around and for the quality to improve sufficiently that I’m willing to shell out for current issues.
    I’m still waiting.
    And from the sound of things there is a long, long, long wait still to come — which really sucks. I am more than happy to spend money on Spidey books — but not for stories of this ilk. This is not the Spider-man I knew, nor want to know.

  45. #45 Farley Stillwell says:

    Couldn’t disagree with the review more tbh. I’d give the ish 3 to 3.5 myself. I was a bit non-plussed by the reason why Pete missed his big day, but to be fair, he wasn’t so much as pinned under a fat guy, more like fell off a building a good five stories high and was knocked out. Slight difference I feel. I thought Joe Q’s art was a step up from OMD, loved his splash page of MJ. Disappointed at the “whisper” reveal, it still doesn’t explain how MJ can remember when no-one else can.
    Pablo’s art was fantastic and thought it segued into the ASM annual art pretty well, it looked to me like the annual art had been re-coloured, but I guess not?
    Having revealed the reason for missing the wedding already, as well as the whisper, I’m not sure what the other 3 parts will contain, looking forward to finding out tho.

    Anyone notice in the letters page SW says part 2 is next week? I thought it had been delayed til August?

  46. #46 Tonyd117 says:

    So a cop gets shot at by a thug who wants to rape his wife. Spidey shows up, the two go over the side of the building and fall to the alley. Where Spidey lays unconcious for 8 hours? So the cop never calls for back up? Or checks to see what happened in the alley? Huh?

    I originally had hoped Joe Q. was just putting his name on someone else’s story(to “take the heat”). But this is definitely his writing. This is bad. Very bad.

  47. #47 SpecSpiderfan says:

    Oh my God..thanks. Gerard I am currently doing my best “We’re not worthy” bow stance a la Wayne’s World toward my computer…thanks so much for expressing what we diehards have been and continue to feel. Love your work….keep it up…..and continue fighting the good fight..

  48. #48 Jon M. Wilson says:

    Interesting review. Can’t say I feel as strongly as you do. But I have to clear up for the record, fwiw, that the fat guy laying on him didn’t keep him from the wedding, being unconscious from the fall did. I’m not saying that’s much better. Just a clarification.

  49. #49 Iron Lantern says:

    @ Farley (or anyone else who can answer): Quick question, does the “fat guy” get injured by the fall at all? Since, like, if the fall could knock Spidey out cold, and the guy fell too, wouldn’t he have died or something? Maybe the reason why Pete missed the marriage is because he had to take the guy to the hospital and when he told MJ that she did the whole “lol u r Spiderman” on him. I haven’t read the issue, that’s why I’m asking ;)

  50. #50 neo says:

    One More idiotic Tale

  51. #51 Two-Bit Specialist says:

    And here I thought pro-OMD fans weren’t going to be able to like this issue.

  52. #52 neo says:

    smart

  53. #53 Jon M. Wilson says:

    Fat Guy doesn’t seem to have been seriously injured. He landed on the Spider, who was sandwiched between Fat Guy and pavement at the moment of impact. I guess the logic is that landing on another body helped to cushion his fall. And that the combined sandwich-impact is what knocked out Peter. Not saying I like that logic much, but it’s just how I read the story. Also, being sandwiched in the fall may help to explain why Peter didn’t wake up more quickly or easily. Busted ribs, maybe? Even when he does wake up at the end, he ain’t moving. But I’m sure we’ll see more of that in 639.

  54. #54 Iron Lantern says:

    Thanks, Jon :) Sadly that’s what I was afraid to hear, hahah.

  55. #55 Jon M. Wilson says:

    @Two-Bit, I’m not sure how the lines get drawn on the message board. I don’t know if the fact that OMD totally pissed me off but I’ve mostly gotten over it and moved on makes me pro-OMD or not. I did have some problems with 638 as a chapter of OMD, but it didn’t resurrect the anger I felt two years ago, either. I just didn’t see it as especially evil in its own right. I guess I’m just reading it on its own terms and trying to understand the mythology we’ve been given. My three biggest problems with the story actually stem from Quesada’s depiction of Mary Jane (he drew an attractive woman, sure, but she’s not wearing MJ’s face), the Mephisto-bird scene (made no sense), and the whisper (sooo anticlimactic). Everything else is depicting what “really happened” in place of annual 21, and I’m taking it on those terms. Is it a great story? No. But I’ve seen way worse in the last two years and before.

  56. #56 Iron Lantern says:

    Heh, anyone else notice on the variant cover the trash bin’s label has Quesada’s signature on it? A clever man, he can be…

  57. #57 cbasfrench says:

    @Jon M. Wilson – I couldn’t agree more. That’s the way I saw/read the issue.
    As I said on another message board, I believe the fat guy event is only the catalyst to the actual reason the wedding did not happen.

  58. #58 Spidey Fan says:

    Excellent review Gerard. Right on target with all your comments.

    I totally agree that this issue was a steaming pile of excrement. They retcon the retcon, as Farley pointed out we get the reveal of what MJ whispered to Mephisto, but it doesn’t explain how she remembers anything (or even if she does). The comment by MJ to Peter that things between them can “never, ever” be like they were was aimed at the fans of the marriage. Basically Joe saying the marriage is never coming back so long as he holds the reins at Marvel. Joe’s art was horrible and his depiction of MJ was just totally off. The constant switch between art, current pages and reprints was jarring at best, disconcerting in the least.

    And what of Spidey’s comment to Eddie, “don’t you respect the institution of marriage” (or words to that effect) felt like another shot at those that despise OMD/BND. Most of the book come across more as a thumbing of the nose at long time Spidey fans than a sincere desire to explain what happened to stop the marriage.

    The taking of panels from the annual, out of context, expressing nothing but doubt and misgivings by everyone were used specifically to push the story and fit right into Joey Q’s agenda. And how does it end? Spidey saves the fat piece of crap, falls a few stories with the fat guy on top of him, and misses his wedding? How long was he supposed to be out anyway? 12 hours? More? WTF?!? Really? So the cop, his wife, and any cops showing up to the scene when it is reported don’t find Spidey lying in the alley right next to the building? Really?

    This was just horrible. I agree that this issue surpassed the suck factor of OMD and I thought that was impossible.

  59. #59 Bryan says:

    @Two-Bit re: Superman 701: I guess you could say Supes was written out of character, but that’s why I liked it, because the “regular” Superman character is pretty boring. I mean, he is invulnerable, invincible, basically God-like, it’s hard to make a character like that interesting. That’s why I like this whole “walking the earth” storyline, it’s better than him in space fighting some other invulnerable creature.
    Anyway, sorry for all the Superman talk, but One Omit In Time (TM) was so bad, it’s depressing to think about what Marvel has done to the formerly greatest comic book character ever created.

  60. #60 Lurking Guy says:

    @Farley: “Disappointed at the “whisper” reveal, it still doesn’t explain how MJ can remember when no-one else can.”

    Well, to be fair, nowhere yet in BND has it been stated that MJ remembers *anything* about Mephisto and the deal. We have yet to see how the “psychic blindspot” is created, and it’s entirely possible Peter re-revealed himself to MJ, especially if he was still living with her at the time he did it.

    I think many fans assumed the whisper was about her remembering the deal, maybe to be used by Marvel as an “out” if it was needed, and that’s just colored how people have read her scenes since BND started. But there’s no solid evidence that she remembers anything. The best we got is her comments in the Paper-doll arc, about knowing Peter/Spidey “in another life”, and those are ambiguous at best. Marvel can easily just say MJ was speaking metaphorically about their past relationship, and her (at the time) having moved on and away.

    Yea, it doesn’t really satisfy me either, but I’m just saying that based on what the whisper reveal actually, truly is, unless the next 3 issues show otherwise, I think we are all meant to assume that MJ does *not* remember Mephisto or the deal, either.

  61. #61 LJ says:

    Joe Q. is just indecent. I say we stop buying ASM until this crap is fixed.

  62. #62 Enigma_2099 says:

    And might I add… WHO really thought they were gonna fix ANYTHING?

  63. #63 Kreniigh says:

    Yeah, this was pretty bad in all the ways that people have already pointed out… But Peter missing the wedding because of an absurd run of bad luck doesn’t seem too far-fetched. I could see Stan Lee putting him through something like that. Now, that said, it was set up and executed very clumsily — as someone said, why didn’t the cop call it in?

  64. #64 Kreniigh says:

    Also, for some reason, the missing comma in the last line of the issue cracks me up:

    “Yeah, you go do that tiger.”

    Do it good.

  65. #65 The Dark Spider says:

    Blame Joe Quesada for what… 3 years of terrible Spider-man stories? This man is the the anti-Spidey. His actions are an utter insult, no abomination to everything Spider-man. My examples: OMD, the fucking awful BND status quo and now OMIT. AND he says there’s a third part to the OMD saga. If he single handedly ruined Marvel’s flagship character imagine him getting involved with Cap America or the Avengers. I pray to the big guy upstairs to end the horrors brought on by Quesada.

  66. #66 Reggie_TwoToes says:

    Hey guys I have a crazy idea, what if OMIT is the end of BND. I belive that Peter and MJ are going to get back together at the end of this crappy arc, (A FAT REALY!) and their marriaged will be reset, with them both remebering everything that happened in BND. (Just like in House of M). For this to happen MJ would have to already know everthing that hapened in OMD. Now how Quesada is going is to explane any of this is anyone’s guess, (it cant’t getting any more worst, can it?) but I STRONGLY belive that the worst era since the clone saga is ending in the next three issues…I hope.

  67. #67 Gamer7 says:

    why dont they just break up Super-Man from Louis Lane or Jarvis from Batman.

    Spider-Man and MJ are a staple now – it seems as though they want to go back to making it a staple character but now they have made him worse off.

    Some nut head upstairs at marvel remembers reading Spider-Man when he was single and now thinks that this is the way SPider-Man was meant to be.. what a load of garbage.

    Stan Lee got him married just as much as he got him bitten by a radioactive spider.

    As SPider-Man/Fantastic Four#1 has shown – stories from era of Spider-Mans past can be written effectively.

  68. #68 Thedarkphoenix says:

    I’m glad I bailed after ONE MORE DAY. I check the web occasionally to see whats up, and WTF it’s now worse than it was. This is unreal and insane. One definition of insane is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result. Marvel is fucking insane, period. It’s been over two years and they still don’t get it! I loved all things pre OMD, too bad it’s been destroyed by some dumb fucking idiot who lucked into a job. However, if they OMITed everything since OMD, I’d come back. Till then, I’ll save my money! Good luck to you all who continue to give them their paychecks. If you see something you don’t agree with and you don’t do something about it, then your saying it’s okay. The next arc should be called W.F.U. for We Fucked Up!

  69. #69 Heartburn says:

    @ Donovan Grant: “And thus with this review, the second wave of Brand New Day Spider-Man has truly begun. Strap yourselves in, as not everyone will make it out of here intact.”

    You make it sound like some of us won’t make it to the next sequel… God I hope I don’t get killed off.

    Back to Gerard’s review; I couldn’t help but laugh when you mentioned how Peter missed his wedding, that’s how much the issue actually annoyed me. I LAUGHED FOR THE FIRST TIME ABOUT A BAD ISSUE. I feel so bad for the MJ character, she’s the victim here along with the rest of us.

  70. #70 Sano says:

    I didn’t read the issue itself and probably never will because I do not want that story in my brain. For me the wedding happens and Marvel goes into the Spider-Girl universe. Which is sadly coming to an end too. ARG…

    I have had the story described to me and have read spoilers along with reviews like this. Arguably I feel the opinion of anyone who has read any given subject is more valid than one who hasn’t, but even reading reviews that were positive about this story… Well it still feels mind numbingly stupid and insult to the intelligence of comic buying fans.

    Not going to give up on Marvel or anything since I like almost everything else they are doing right now. Still blows that they are messing up my favorite fictional character big time.

    Ah well, guess I have Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions and Marvel vs. Capcom 3 to look forward to. He has been CONFIRMED to be married in MVC 3 at the very least heh heh (assuming he’s in the game but there’s a BIG chance he’s in lol)! I don’t know Spidey’s marital status in Shattered Dimensions but with the 4 Spidey voice actors I really don’t care. I just hope Activision doesn’t screw up the game like they always do OOOH… Only so much a Spidey fan can take… ^_^;

  71. #71 Flinx79 says:

    I do NOT like where this story is going; like most of gang here, it pains me that we’ve had to go through this OMD unhappiness. But I have to say, this was not nearly as bad as the reviewer found it.
    It would have been nice to get Paul Ryan back to do some new stuff, or at least re-colour his old stuff. The overall pacing was fine, and the whole thing had an air of impending doom about it. The MJ/Devil dialogue at the being… hmm, I think the main point isn’t what MJ says, but the what the devil says back. I think this may be Marvel’s way of doing a ‘pandorica’ and saying the continuity we’ve experienced since the wedding was the divergent one and what we’re going to get now is a ‘corrected’ one… We’ll see!
    Joe Q’s are was very stylised. I think he’s using a computer to do the set designs, but the faces he draws look inconsistent. Why does he refuse to give MJ her trademark dimples?!

  72. #72 Aziz Abbasi says:

    I haven’t noticed before today that the horn on the top of that building is placed like a tear coming out of Spider-Man’s mask lens

  73. #73 TimmyG says:

    Wow 72 comments already, well heres one more with my thoughts. Mainly Spider-man missing a wedding becuase a common hood fell on him is about the lamest reason for missing his wedding. The humor was ok, the holiday inn joke and the final panel where Peters sayign they need more tea and MJ is pouring more wine was pretty funny. Normally I give 2 stars if the art is good becuase that makes up half the comic experience. In this case it merits a one star, while one artist is really good the other plainly can only draw faces for down syndrome people and drunks, theres also not enough origional material to give merit to. Overall this is just edges a little better than Shed for me based on some of the art that didnt make the story hard to follow. Rating: *

  74. #74 thearachknight89 says:

    Yes!!! Great review, and you’re right. We the Spider-Man fans should NOT have to stand for this crap that they’re pouring out now (which is sad since Marvel does in fact have some quality comics.)
    Too bad no one will ever listen to us.

  75. #75 Doug says:

    Marvel doesn’t seem to care about what the fans thing anymore. We could writer a million E-Mails, Postcards, and letters with the same opinion and it wouldn’t matter. It’s all about what Joe wants.

  76. #76 Mista Kool says:

    First off: Mary Jane Watson is definitely not manipulating and doesn’t have bad motives towards Peter or anyone. So, the One More Day and Brand New Day story arcs are secretly a parallel universe that sucks balls compared to the true original real Marvel Universe. There may be some great writing and stories that deal with serious, somewhat dark, gritty, and political plots, BUT Peter Parker is Joe Quesada in disquise who agrees that making deals with Satan is the right thing to do which makes no sense whether your Christian or not. In reality, I’ve read true biographies of people who were once Satanists but finally came to realize that the Devil is evil and really doesn’t care for his followers by making empty promises, using them, and making them dead/depressed inside. The result and answer is that God/Jesus Christ steps into their lives, proves how trustworthy and loving He really is, and those Satanists have now become Christians who are against the demonic entity that deceived them. This O.M.I.T story I will never read along with One More Day and the Brand New Day series. Joe Quesada needs to be replaced with an Editor-in-Chief that is a born Spider-Man/MJ/their marriage fan and who honestly sympathizes with their fans. And I do like Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man, but Joe has made sure that Mary Jane won’t be introduced into that series anytime soon which sucks. Joe has made the mistake of thinking that Peter Parker should be lonely and pathetic like Bruce Wayne (Quesada is really a Batman fan) and that Mary Jane isn’t a popular, loved character. Last: Friendship, Relationship, Love, and Marriage are important special elements that should be taken seriously in life and the comics.

  77. #77 cmstimpson says:

    I’ve been reading Spider-Man stories for 30 years, and I can’t recall any stories that come close the the stink that Joe Quesada wrote. I did not pick up OMD because the whole deal with Mephisto to save Aunt May, who already died, just so the end the marriage could be retconned. This story was against everything Peter Parker stands for. The marriage signified Peter’s growing maturity and responsibility. Now Peter acts less mature than he was in Amazing Fantasy #15. I picked up the first issue of OMIT out of morbid curiosity, but I don’t think I waste any more funds on Joe Quesada’s garbage.

  78. #78 BD says:

    You can agree or disagree with Gerard, but I’ve never seen so much discussion with any other reviewer on the site in my 12 year history. They’re up to five pages on CBR talking about it.
    http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=332265

  79. #79 persian-spider says:

    i just read this steaming pile of shit. if you ask me the story is not worth these discussions. we shouldnt even spend a second of our precious life debating this utter crap

  80. #80 paulski says:

    Ah Gerard, god bless you. That was gold. And, no doubt, spot on the money.

    But of course, I wouldn’t know, having dropped the title 30 issues ago. A book that I’d bought every single month since 1984. But such is the shitty standard of the title these days that Quesada and co convinced me to drop yet another of my ‘undroppable’ books. And, of course, the thrice-monthly format has proved so overwhelmingly successful that it’s being shelved for a bi-weekly book instead. Keep moving those deckchairs, Wacker – I’m sure you’ll stop the ship from sinking eventually.

  81. #81 Irishlad says:

    It’s not the review per se I have a problem with it’s the comments that people who like the current direction on ASM are “groveling sycophants” and not “real fans”. Those comments are a disgrace and I’m surprised they were allowed through. That sort of histrionic hissy fitting has no place in a review.

  82. #82 CRM says:

    I have loved BND for the most part but this issue was simply not good, and this review pretty much details why….and I don’t think it even mentioned the fact that the fat guy tossed a cinder block all the way up to Spider-man who was on a water tower, with enough force to knock him silly….which is a feat in itself but Spider-man also has a Spider Sense last time I checked…..

  83. #83 Lonecow says:

    I was looking through What If? covers and noticed that What If? #20 was “What if Spider-Mana nd MAry Jane had never gotten married.” I can’t find the inside of the issue anywhere.

    Does anyone know how it compares to this crap?

  84. #84 SpiderPlumber says:

    It (What If? # 20) was an okay story…if I remember correctly, he leaves MJ because of the danger to her being with him, and ands up marrying Black Cat – who quickly ends up totally fucking up Peter’s life….I haven’t read it in about 10 years….
    As for OMIT – I’ve seriously never been this close to dropping ASM…however, that would make my wife happy, so I won’t do it.

  85. #85 The Dark Spider says:

    HOLY SHIT!!! I’ve figured it out! I know why MJ asked Mesphito to leave Peter alone! Because he’s the key to Thano’ demise. Mesphito was Thano’s first follower when he got Infinity Gauntlet. Some cosmic level guys changed Peter’s destiny so he would unleash Adam Warlock from the Soul Gem so he could defeat Thanos. It’s probably that or Mesphito is still pissed Spidey rescued the Spirit of Christmas (he’s an angel) from him. GRUDGES NEVER DIE! Weird Mesphito chose Spidey as his champion when he betted against the Beyonder.

  86. #86 Spider-Man 659 says:

    Great Review. I hated this issue so much. This was not worth the four bucks I paid. %^&* this series. I’m going back to Ult. Spidey. ****, I’ll just write my own stuff. It’s better than the crap Quesada’s giving us.

  87. #87 SpideyTerry says:

    “PETER MISSES HIS WEDDING DAY BECAUSE HE’S PINNED UNDERNEATH A FAT GUY.”

    …It’s funny how art imitates real-life sometimes. (We all know what I mean, so I’ll leave it at that.)

  88. #88 John B. from Chicago says:

    I always told myself that I would eventually return to buying ASM. I just can’t. I walk into a comic book store glance and see what’s going on with Spiderman and see that Kravens back; peter got new powers; Aunt May married JJJ; Harry’s back and is Peter’s friend. And the best is something called Mephisto, a demon, erased everyone’s memory in the Marvel Universe to save Aunt May and Peter’s unmasking, in return, Peter and MJ never hooked up. WTF. I’ve been checking the reviews on this site for years to see if there’s some reason I should return and catch up with ASM. I just can’t. That’s my way of protesting. Want to know how to write a demon tale-pick up RIP in Batman. Want to know how to write someone returning from the dead-pick up the return of Bruce Wayne. Even the Return of Bruce Wayne is so effing far fetched-but it’s written so well, you can ignore the fact, that, well…someone is returning from the effing dead. I enjoy your reviews, please keep it up because it’ll be the only way I will ever know whether or not the powers that be have made things right with the ASM. YO!

  89. #89 Sean says:

    Okay, no one else said it, no one will probably say it, I’m going to say it,,,WORSE THAN CLONE WARS. Far WORSE. At least with Clone Wars, we got Ben out of the deal. But this?!

  90. #90 Tapping Out! says:

    You review is dead on.
    After 35 years, I am finished. Spider-man was one of the first comics I ever purchased and the first I truly collected. I used to be proud to say that I owned every issue of ASM ever published. Now, not so much. The decision to disappear the marriage didn’t sit well with me, but I decided to give them time to work it out. Ret-cons have always been a part of comics and I figured to give this a chance. Since then we have been subjected to so-so writing, spotty art work and stories that just don’t work. This however is the last straw. This story seeks to take the steamy pile they hoisted on us and “polish” it a second time. Well, a turd is a turd no matter how you try to sell it. In this case, though, the manner in which Peter and MJ go their separate ways doesn’t fit within established history and seems forced into present ret-conned history. Peter saying he feels free now that MJ told him to beat it flies in the face of his decision, NOT PAGES EARLIER, to bring her with him into the new Dr. Strange amnesia world. It would better to simply just act like the marriage never happened. At least that wouldn’t involve multiple insults to my intelligence or loyalty. As of today, I no longer collect ASM.

  91. #91 Gazmodius says:

    Deal with the devil: stupidest thing in Marvel history.

    No being able to reschedule a wedding: second stupidest.

    Quesada getting away with running the “it’s still selling great” argument: shame on the lickspittles online who tout that crap.

    PS,

    it isn’t still selling great. It’s lost a third of its readership.