Bertone Loves Betty

If there is one thing my fellow Spidey fans know about me, it’s that I love the character of Betty Brant and can’t get enough of her. See that picture? Even Peter can’t stop gushing about how awesome she is! She may be the greatest person in Spider-Man’s supporting cast. Why? Let’s look at six reasons why “Bertones Loves Betty” below!

1) Working for Jonah



In the early years of Spider-Man, Betty was the only secretary who could work for Jonah  without losing her mind. Whenever she would quit for justifiable reasons, Jonah always went through a string of secretaries who couldn’t last a day. Betty had the inner strength that none of them had. Don’t forget that she was a teenager! According to Stan Lee, Betty is younger than Peter, which means that a teenage girl was the executive assistant to one of the most powerful men in media. WOW!

2) Taking in Gwen 2.0



When Gwen Stacy’s clone first showed up, she was confused and disoriented and didn’t have a friend in the world. Even Peter initially turned his back on her and her supposed “best friend” (darn retcons) Mary Jane never even said a word  to her. Who wound up giving Gwen 2.0 a place to stay? Not Aunt May, MJ, Peter or Flash…but Betty! What a great friend!

3) Setting up Aunt May and Jonah Sr.



Nothing says “good friend” like giving a stranger in the street the phone number of one of your single female friends. Here Betty played cupid…and it paid off. Now Jonah Sr. and Aunt May are husband and wife. They owe it all to Betty. Just think, if it wasn’t for Betty we never would of had that scene where Peter walks in on JJ and Aunt May having relations! Thank Betty for that!

4) Giving up her apartment so Peter and Aunt May won’t be homelesss



Betty gave up her entire apartment for Peter and Aunt May. She’s sleeping on a dirty couch so they could have a roof over their heads. Peter’s other supposed “best friends” like Flash Thompson or Randy Robertson didn’t do that for him! Face it webheads, there is no friend in the world like Betty!

5) Shooting super-villains 



Betty packs heat! She’s used guns against villains like the Vulture, Foreigner and F.A.C.A.D.E.! Has Gwen or Carlie ever done anything that awesome?

6) Supporting her sick mother



Remember when I mentioned earlier that Betty was the teenage executive assistant to one of the biggest media moguls in the world? Did I forget to tell you she did all this WHILE SINGLE HANDILY SUPPORTING HER SICK MOTHER? 


You can’t deny how awesome Betty is! I love that character and I don’t want to see anyone saying ANYTHING bad about her! If they do, then they’ll have to go through me. 


APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!

(11) Comments

  1. Spider-Dad

    PERFECT! Nicely done Bertone! I hope you enjoyed writing it as I did reading it. Betty for Mayor!

  2. Jack Brooks

    I dunno. The problem with this gag is that these facts about BB are real. Which means she also is a little more complicated than we might think.

  3. qwaring

    Maybe Betty gives out Aunt May's phone number to random men all the time in order to get revenge on May for trying to set Peter up with Mary Jane while he was dating Betty.

  4. Enigma_2099

    i wanna see the YouTube footage where Bertone was in tears while writing this. To endure so much suffering just for an April Fool's post.

  5. Bertone - Post author

    It was hard! I wanted to do a list of 10 things but for the life of me couldn't think of more then 6! 4 is from "Amazing Spider-Man Family" issue 4 5 is from "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man" issue 15

  6. Iron Patriot

    Bertone, I know this is just an April Fool's gag, but still. This must have been painful to type. @2- By the way, where the images for #4 and 5 from?

  7. tnr105

    I know the giving a stranger an old woman's phone number should be the worst part, but..."If it wasn’t for Betty we never would of had that scene where Peter walks in on JJ and Aunt May having relations! Thank Betty for that!" ... Betty Brant can burn in hell.

  8. Donovan Grant

    I still cannot friggin' get over Betty giving a stranger an old woman's phone number. The hell was she thinking? True, it turned out well but still...

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