The end of the 616 Spider-Man as we know it. Universes shall collide and our last glimpse of the web headed wonder in a universe we’ve all known as love will be…COMPLETELY FORGETTABLE….and before you ask no Silk isn’t in this book at all but this issues variant cover is better than the rest of the book entirely. So way to go Cindy Moon you actually improved a Spider-Man book.
“The Graveyard Shift, Part Three: Trade Secrets”
“Repossession, Part Three: Nothing Left to Lose”
WRITERS: Dan Slott & Christos Gage
PENCILER: Humberto Ramos
INKER: Victor Olazaba
COLORS: Edgar Delgado
LETTERER: Chris Eliopoulos
COVER ARTISTS: Humberto Ramos & Edgar Delgado
ASSISTANT EDITOR: Devin Lewis
EDITOR: Nick Lowe
PLOT: Our story begins right with Ghost holding Sajani in his arms disrupting her heartbeat….because comics. Spider-Man tries to attack Ghost but he’s like a ghost so he uses his ghost powers to not get punched by Spider-Man but still hold onto Sajani…because comics. Spider-Man then webs Sajani out of the way after finding out that her and the guard from last issue are still alive. Ghost and Spider-Man fight while Anna Maria teams up with Clash, and an upgraded Living Brain who uses nanobots to improve his systems…because comics, in order to stop Ghost. They snatch a bunch of Peter’s Spider-Man gear adapting it specifically to fight off Ghost. Meanwhile Ghost is continuing to destroy Parker Industries, and Spider-Man can’t land a hit. Eventually a piece of rubble pins Spider-Man on the ground, and Ghost moves in to unmask our hero. HOW WILL HE GET OUT OF THIS ONE?, probably by outsmarting the villain, and lifting the rubble off like in the Master Planner Saga…..ooooooooor Anna Maria, The Living Brain (who could be defeated by a set of stairs), and the scientist formerly known as Clash could pop in and save him. So after Spider-Man does nothing, they all leave the building and watch Parker Industries burn to the ground. Everyone then comments about how this is the end for Parker Industries, and the book ends.
The other sideplot is Black Cat steals Aunt May’s precious dumb looking statue, and then kidnaps her. She brings Aunt May, and Jonah Sr. to join that unnamed blonde woman who are locked in some room with all of Black Cat’s old collectibles. Then she decides that now that her whole collection is there she will burn it down, and kill all the people who bought her goods in order to send a message….because comics. Spider-Man shows up, but they don’t fight or anything he just saves the people and The Black Cat escapes. Aunt May says she is sorry she ever doubted Spider-Man, and The Black Cat gives a speech to her henchman. THE END of the 616 universe Spider-Man as we know it.
STORY: So after months of Spider-Man getting a successful career, and building an enterprise, his operation is taken down completely by a bad Silver Age Iron Man villain. Legit this just completely negates anything interesting that came about from Slott’s new run, and leaves us with only the bad. What have Spider-Fan’s been unhappy about lately? Spider-Man doesn’t solve his own problems. CHECK. Black Cat is completely written out of character. CHECK. Spider-Man brooding over nothing. CHECK. Seriously this is like bad Spider-Man comic bingo, and Slott wrote up a full card.
Now I would go to the level of saying everything is bad about this issue, it does have some fun moments. I enjoy the artwork, and while part of a larger problem the scene where the Parker Industries gang saved Spider-Man was cute.
Now onto the ridiculous. If anyone thought that Ghost was too jokey in prior issue, this issue just blows his bad dialogue level to an 11. Every line is a bad, or clichéd joke. He doesn’t seem to really pose a threat seeing how he somehow murdered no one, and only wants to destroy a building because it’s a corporation. Is that even like a real motive? He is hired by a corporation to destroy another corporation. HEY GHOST YOU ARE ACTUALLY WORKING FOR A CORPORATION. The Living Brain now has full access to nanobots and decides to upgrade himself after being damaged? Thats a plot device so bad its recycled from the movie Jason X (the one where Jason goes to space). Sajani continues to not get punished for being awful, and only serves to nag. STILL…SHE IS STILL DOING THIS. IT HAS BEEN AN ENTIRE RUN AND THIS IS ALL THE CHARACTER HAS DONE. THAT’S IT…SPIDER-MAN WILL BE BACK WITH A NUMBER ONE AFTER SECRET WARS AND SHE HASN’T HAD A SINGLE REDEEMING CHARACTER MOMENT. WHY EVEN HAVE HER EXIST. argargargargargargarg. Oh and The Black Cat makes no sense. I mean she hasn’t made sense since post Superior but now she makes even less sense. Like randomly starting a fire to burn all of the stuff she used to own and the people who bought said stuff? This is supposed to send a message? Makes zero sense and doesn’t belong to the same character. Unless she unmasks herself and we discover that she was actually Baron Zemo this whole time irreparable damage has been done to the character.
Overall when we look back upon this 18 issue run of Spider-Man we probably won’t have many favourable things to say. There are been some pretty decent issues, but nearly all of them were point one’s. The rest ranged from really promising set up issues, to really big let down finale issues. Even the good points of say Spider-Verse are hindered by the lacklustre ending to the event. When Spider-Verse is your best aspect, and the best parts of the event are not even numbered Spider-Man issues we have a problem. Lets hope that Secret Wars will shake up with Spider-Man side of the Marvel Universe enough to get a new and interesting take on the character.