New Avengers #59-60 reviewed AFTER Siege #1! What’s going on?

It’s a bit like the Captain America scandal, it all being revealed before Reborn #6 was even released. Bit of satire towards the industry, eh?

In all seriousness, it is my fault that these reviews are so late. No excuses.

NEW AVENGERS #59-60

WRITER: Brian Michael Bendis

ARTIST: Stuart Immonen.

INKS: Wade von Grawbadger

COLOURS: Dave McCaig

LETTERS: Albert Deschesne

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Web of Norman Osborn? Norman Osborn: The Spectacular Norman Osborn?

None of these really have a ring to them, so I guess the cover will have to go onto Dark Avengers or something.

DARK AVENGERS #11

WRITER: Brian Michael Bendis

ARTIST: Mike Deodato Jr. and Greg Horn

COLOURS: Rain Beredo

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Catch-up is my favorite game. I always seem to play it.

Sorry for the delay on the reviews, gang.

NEW AVENGERS #58

WRITER: Brian Michael Bendis

ARTIST: Stuart Immonen

INKS: Wade von Grawbadger

COLOURS: Dave McCaig

LETTERS: Albert Deschesne

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In a dark, dark city, there was a dark, dark tower and in the dark, dark tower there were some dark, dark stairs. Up the dark, dark stairs, there was a dark, dark table and around the dark, dark table there were some dark, dark Avengers.

Having a conversation. Again.

DARK AVENGERS #10

WRITER: Brian Michael Bendis

ARTIST: Mike Deodato

COLOURS: Rain Beredo

LETTERS: Cory Petit

PLOT:

Down in Dinosaur, Colorado, people are going missing. One of them being the Secretary of State’s daughter. Guess who he’s going to ask for a favour?

The Dark Avengers take down Man-Thing and then hurry back to Avengers Tower to chat round the breakfast table. Gargan’s medication seems to be making him sensitive, Ms. Marvel wants Hawkeye in the sack and Victoria Hand doesn’t want the Avengers back chatting her. Osborn then appears fully in armour after his recluse in the lab last issue and announces their next mission. He sends Sentry to go deal with it.

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I’ll admit, I’m not the most knowledgeable about the stories told in this issue. I have never read the Clone Saga, but there’s a Kaine story in here. I’ve read (in total) three issues of Spider-Girl and we have Spectacular Spider-Girl in here. HOWEVER, I have read the issue that contained the first appearance of Frog-Man!

WEB OF SPIDER-MAN #1

ECHOES by DeMatteis, Semeiks and Green

Kaine is locked up in a secret, maximum security facility. He makes a good attempt at escape before hallucinating and being captured again. The dreams continue with Ben Reilly, Louise Kennedy and The Jackal guest-starring. Just when Kaine is ready to let go of life, the fourth ghost (this time Peter Parker) inspires him and he will live his new life.

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The Wrecking Crew and Jonas Harrow have just used their power drainer to drain the powers of those who have powers.

Now, let’s continue…

NEW AVENGERS #57

WRITER: Brian Michael Bendis

ARTIST: Stuart Immonen

INKS: Wade von Grawbadger

COLOURS: Dave McCaig

LETTERS: Albert Deschesne

PLOT:

The Avengers (both New and Dark) are struggling with consciousness after getting zapped by their own power drainer, that they left behind after fighting Hoodormammu. Carelessness conquers all. The Wrecking Crew make Norman Osborn an offer, that they rule themselves and cut the Hood out, as they prefer to know who they’re working for. In return, Osborn gets the power drainer, his life and the New Avengers. Osborn wants his suit back (like now) so he can negotiate with Harrow. Suddenly, we get an Avengers plane zoom down (driven by Mockingbird) to save the New Avengers, not the Dark ones obviously. They fly off with the Iron Patriot chasing after, which leads to the best part of the issue.

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After a Fraction-full two issues, we get back to the normal creative team of Bendis and Deodato on Dark Avengers. The crossover with X-Men is over, so now we get a crossover with the Secret Warriors! Don’t worry fans, this is still very firmly Bendis’ Dark Avengers.

After all, we do have a conversation around the breakfast table.

DARK AVENGERS #9

WRITER: Brian Michael Bendis

ARTIST: Mike Deodato

COLOURS: Rain Beredo

LETTERS: Cory Petit

PLOT:

Ares becomes the concerned father in this issue and after his son, Alex/Phobos, gets picked up by Daisy Johnson, he follows them to the Secret Warriors’ hideout. He breaks in, smacks Hellfire around and then has a man-to-man talk with Nick Fury. Ares wants what is best for his son and he realises that he must let his son make his own choice. Nick Fury tells him that he’s on the wrong side, but Ares responds by saying the Norman Osborn is doing a good job so far.

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 QUICK RECAP:
· Norman Osborn is the media darling.
· Clint Barton feels that he needs to kill the aforementioned darling.
· As leader of H.A.M.M.E.R., Osborn has a whole list of things to do.

DARK REIGN – THE LIST: AVENGERS
WRITER: Brian Michael Bendis
ARTIST: Marko Djurdjevic
INKS: Mark Morales
COLOURS: Marte Gracia
LETTERS: Joe Caramagna

PLOT:
After hearing the declaration that the X-Men’s island, Utopia, is a Mutant Prison Camp, Clint Barton is convinced that Norman Osborn has to die. Spider-Man disagrees with Clint, as does everybody else, but they feel that they should at least help out the X-Men. It’s obvious that Clint doesn’t have a plan and he storms out when he realises that nobody’s going to side with him, apart from his wife, Mockingbird. Eventually, he sneaks away to take on Avengers Tower by himself…

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It’s a Dark Reign Double Bill! Why am I posting two reviews at the same time? Not so I can catch up quickly, I don’t know what made you think that. It is because these issues are linked. You heard me correctly. Linked.

How are they linked? Which is the weakest link?

Read onwards and find out, true believer!

And to avoid any awkward questions, no. I did not have any Dark Reign puns left.

DARK REIGN: MR. NEGATIVE #3
WRITER: Fred Van Lente
ARTIST: Gianluca Gugliotta
COLOURS: Pattison, Motta and Fabela
LETTERS: Dave Lanphear

PLOT:
Mr. Negative and The Hood face off, neither getting the edge over the other. Mere metres away, Nega-Spidey is attempting to kill Betty Brant, but she is too cunning for the brainwashed hero. She eventually catches up with Mrs. Li, who reveals the origin or Mr. Negative.

Martin Li drowned trying to get to America, but the gang that was taking him there still insisted on collecting the money from Mrs. Li. While she was being tortured, Mr. Negative saved her and took the identity of Martin Li.

Negative keeps fighting The Hood and tells the tale of him being on the same boat as Martin Li when he died and took his personal papers, such as passport, due to his criminal record. He was then used in drug trials for the same drug that created Cloak and Dagger, therefore linking himself to the same Darkforce that Cloak uses.

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Reign’s World! Reign’s World! Party time! Excellent!

(The puns don’t get any better, folks.)

DARK REIGN: THE SINISTER SPIDER-MAN #2
We Need A Hero
WRITER: Brian Reed
ARTIST: Chris Bachalo with Rob Disalvo
INKS: Townsend, Mendoza, Disalvo & Sibal
COLOURS: Bachalo with Mossa & Fabela
LETTERS: Jared K. Fletcher

PLOT:
While JJJ deals with the PR nightmare of a dead prostitute in his room (planted by Mac Gargan), Mr. Gargan explains his love of eating squirrels. He then starts a gang war by beating on a gang and saying it was another gang. Genius.

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Chocolate Reign!

DARK REIGN: MR. NEGATIVE #2
WRITER: Fred van Lente
ARTIST: Gianluca Gugliotta
COLOURS: Ronda Pattison
LETTERS: Dave Lanphear

PLOT:
Nega-Spidey is beating seven shades of silver out of the Hood’s goons, which include classic villains such as The Squid and Scorcher. The villains are surprised by Spider-Man’s brutal violence and wonder if it’s really him. They aren’t the sharpest tools in the box, really. Elsewhere, Mr. Negative gives Hammerhead orders to deliver a message to Norman Osborn about The Hood.

While he’s smashing through a SWAT team, Betty Brant questions Yana Li, Martin Li’s wife. She reveals that they both wanted to leave China for the USA, but only she could through being a student at Empire State. Yana hated it and told her husband not to come, unfortunately he took that to mean she had found another man and immediately tried to move to the United States, but Martin was tricked by the Snakehead gang and sent to Kenya. Betty tells Yana that the entire gang has been killed by the gangster Mr. Negative and she runs away at once.

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Sorry about the extreme lateness of this review. Illness and going abroad straight after got in the way. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

TIMESTORM 2009-2099 #3
WRITER: Brian Reed
ARTIST: Eric Battle
INKER: Drew Hennessey
LETTERS: Dave Sharpe

PLOT:
We start by seeing why Jake Gallows (Punisher 2099) hates super-heroes so much, it’s because he thinks that they killed his family. In the present day (or the 2099 day, whatever), Tyler Stone is deeply distressed over the whole “his son turning into a human scorpion” thing. (more…)

Purple Reign!

DARK REIGN: THE SINISTER SPIDER-MAN #1
Women Love Him, Men Want to be Him
WRITER: Brian Reed
ARTIST: Chris Bachalo
INKS: Tim Townsend
LETTERS: Jared K. Fletcher

PLOT:
Mac Gargan (now known as Spider-Man) stops General Wolfram (no idea, sorry) from robbing a bank, but takes the money from him before eating his arm. Delicious. Meanwhile, Mayor Jameson pushes away reporters and rejects Dr. Gunderson’s proposal of a supervillain rehabilitation program. The good doctor isn’t very happy about it…

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When it Reigns, it pours.

DARK REIGN: MR. NEGATIVE #1

WRITER: Fred Van Lente

ARTIST: Gianluca Gugliotta

INKS: Lanning & Justice

LETTERS: Dave Lanphear

PLOT:

White Dragon confronts Mr. Negative on behalf of The Hood, but then gets negativised (controlled by Mr. Negative) and sent to battle Z-List villains. The Hood takes care of it and declares war on the villainous Negative.

Betty Brant tries some journalism and visits Martin Li’s wife, before an explosion cuts power. Our group of Z-Listers (Remember The Squid?) are attacking Chinatown and run into Hammerhead (sounding like somebody from (more…)

WEEKEND UPDATE! With Patrick Brusnahan!

Sorry, I couldn’t resist, not when I’m reviewing a book written by Seth Meyers and Bill Hader of SNL. Whatever your opinion on the current state of SNL, I think these two are pretty cool, especially Bill Hader. Let’s not forget the art is done by Kevin Maguire, the artist of one of my favourite runs ever (Justice League International).

So this looks like a recipe for success. Let’s see if it is.

SPIDER-MAN: THE SHORT HALLOWEEN
WRITERS: Seth Meyers and Bill Hader
ARTIST: Kevin Maguire
COLOURS: Dean White
LETTERS: Chris Eliopoulos

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It’s been a while since we had a mini-series review, exams took a priority I’m afraid. Never mind that there hasn’t been any Spider-man mini-series lately, who ever thought that could happen?!

Anyways, let’s get to the shocking review already…

TIMESTORM 2009-2099 #2
WRITER: Brian Reed
ARTISTS: Eric Battle & R.B. Silva
INKERS: Andrew Hennessey & Vicente Cifuentes
COLOURS: Bruno Hang
LETTERS: Dave Sharpe

PLOT:

Jake Gallows (Punisher 2099) is being interrogated about what he did to Spider-Man and Wolverine, who is currently getting the adamantium kicked out of him by ugly, 2099 Hulks. Lucky for him, Ghost Rider 2099 is there to save his clumsy @$$ and take him to Wolverine 2099. Damn, these alternate timeline team-ups really get on my nerves.

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1992 saw the origin of a series known as Spider-Man 2099. This was a beloved series to many (including myself), but in recent years, you’re more likely to see the Invisible Man than the World of Tomorrow. Now, we have this series to comfort us, written by Brian Reed! Remember him? Secret Invasion: Spider-Man? Yep, that Brian Reed.

In preparation, put your hands on your hips and bring your knees in tight, because we’re about to do the Time Warp!

TIMESTORM 2009/2099 #1
WRITER: Brian Reed
ARTIST: Eric Battle
INKERS: Andrew Hennessey & Vicente Cifuentes
COLOURS: Bruno Hang
LETTERS: Dave Sharpe

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Will Spider-Man save Felicia Hardy and J. Jonah Jameson from the clutches of the Goblin?
Will Aunt May survive the menacing Vulture?
Has this series actually been worth reading?

For answers, see below.

SPIDER-MAN: NOIR #4
WRITERS: David Hine with Fabrice Sapolsky
ARTIST: Carmine Di Giandomenico
LETTERS: Artmonkeys Studios

PLOT:
We first see Aunt May attacked by the Vulture (the same mobster who killed Uncle Ben). Luckily, Spider-Man arrives to save her, but Vulture knows he can kill May before Peter can get close. Peter also knows this, so puts a bullet through the Vulture. Aunt May goes into a rage, arguing that Spider-Man is now no better than the Vulture, he could have used his webbing but used the gun instead. Peter apologises and hands over his gun before racing off to try and save Felicia.

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I apologise about the lateness of this review, I’ll make sure it never happens again. Speaking of reviews…

X-MEN/SPIDER-MAN #4
The Mutant Hunter
WRITER: Christos Gage
ARTIST: Marco Alberti
LETTERS: Jared K. Fletcher
PLOT:
Morlocks are being hunter by someone who looks suspiciously like Kraven the Hunter. When the X-Men hear about this, we decide to visit a certain Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man and head to Westchester to try and locate Kraven. They start to link the situation with Sinister and are suddenly cut off with a black out. They are attacked by a hunter, (who looks like he hasn’t been outside in decades) and start to get beaten, as the hunter seems to know all of the mutants’ weaknesses. Spidey webs him up but he escapes and reveals himself to be…XRAVEN!!

No, I don’t know how to pronounce it either.

Just when Nightcrawler and Wolverine seem to have an advantage over Albino Kraven, he reveals he has all the original X-Men’s powers! He takes Kitty Pryde hostage, using Jean Grey’s telepathy. However, Cyclops opens his mind to the unpronounceable villain, who can’t take all the tragedy and flees.

Yes, that was what happened in the last issue as well.

LIKES: (more…)

Well, the issue that we’ve all been waiting for. A huge spider-favourite returns in this issue. No, not Carnage. Somebody who has more fans than even Carnage, if you can believe it. Ladies and gentlemen…BEN REILLY!

Did somebody say TEAM-UP? (With BEN REILLY!)

X-MEN/SPIDER-MAN #3
Clone Sagas
WRITER: Christos Gage
ARTIST: Marco Alberti.
LETTERS: Jared K. Fletcher

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