Alford Notes: Amazing Spider-Man #11

asm11cover“This is why I work alone.”

Scorpio Rising Part 3: Signs from Above

O.K., intrepid readers!  Scorpio has a magic key and he’s not afraid to use it.  Living Brain/Ock has a crush on Anna Maria and he’s not going to be able to hold it back much longer.  We are wrapping up this story arc, folks, and as Scorpio said, he’s seen the future, and Spidey’s not in it.  So, hit the read more with care, as this may very well be Spider-Man’s last adventure!


Plus – is there love in Spider-Man’s future?  Of course not!  Didn’t you pay attention – Scorpio has already told us Spidey’s not in!  You really need to read more carefully, you know!  Now let’s quite this dilly-dallying and get on with it.





The Devil in the Details

Writer: Dan Slott

Artist: Giuseppe Camuncoli

Inker: Cam Smith

Colorist: Marte Gracia

Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramanga

Cover Artist: Alex Ross

Editor: Nick Lowe

Published: April 27, 2016



The Story – Pay Attention, This Will Be on the Test:

Spider-Man, Mocking Bird, Anna Maria, and Brock (Living Brain/Ock) are in England at a loss for what to do.  Nick Fury is stuck in the Space Station at a loss for what to do.  All of Parker Industries are in their various global habitats at a loss for what to do.  There is no communication between them due to Spider-Man ad Fury taking out several satellites.  Scorpio’s big final plan  is about to happen and they get to make funky light shows in the sky.    Thanks to some quick thinking by Fury, Spider-Man figures out where to go.  He, Mocking Bird, and Brock kick some Zodiac butt.  Scorpio kicks their butt.  Scorpio opens a magic door with his magic key and reveals his true identity.  It’s not just Vernon Jacobs, it’s Vernon Jacobs Fury.  He then gets his reward for being a good little Zodiac leader – knowledge of the whole next year.  Spider-Man knocks him into said next year.  Anna Maria snuggles a little too close to Spider-Man and Brock vows to accelerate his plans.




There are two big things in this issue.  The first is the revelation of what will happen in the upcoming year.  This is Scorpio’s reward for all of his labors.  Oddly enough, he is so excited that the future is “for me and me alone”, but then he proceeds to speak aloud about what visions are filling his head.  More oddly, they are about Spider-Man.  I can overlook these things because I love this “sneak peek” that Slott is giving us.



So let’s do a check off of what will happen:

  • Regent – O.K., he’s already been seen and he is featured on the next cover.
  • Heroes at each other’s throats – Civil War II
  • New U – ??? I do not know what to make of this.  When I see U I think Universe.  Maybe this is a reveal of how Civil War will end?  The universe gets rebooted again?  Certainly not.  I figure that it must represent something else that I am not getting.  I would love your ideas below.
  • Norman Osborn in hiding – I take this as a challenge for us to find him.  So we’ve probably been giving hints already as we know the Slott likes putting his clues out there way in advance.  There was a guy in bandages who was called ‘Osborn’ in Africa, but I always felt that this was a red herring.  Where else could Osborn be?
  • Monsters on the rise – Ic nat (that’s Old English for I don’t know – start using that instead of IDK and impress people with your knowledge of dead languages).
  • Skyspears – Ic nat.
  • Otto Octavius – It says that explains everything, so Otto’s plans are going to have a big impact on Spidey’s life this year.  More on that next.

The next big deal comes from this panel:



Anna Maria follows this up with telling Spidey that she thinks Mocking Bird likes him.  I’ve gotten that vibe since the first issue of the new volume.  Bobby seemed a bit  irritated at Peter’s love of his life Lian Tang.  I must confess, I really didn’t think too much about this other than that this may be a new relationship for Peter.  I guess I’m fine with it.  It doesn’t feel forced and Spidey doesn’t date too often in the costume set.  In Marvel Adventures he had Chat and in Ultimate he dated Kitty Pride.  There was a What If? where he and Silver Sable got married, but to my memory, he’s only really dated Black Cat.  My first instinct was that this seems to be setting Peter up for a major miscommunication.  Here he is not aware until Anna Maria comments on it, now he will start thinking everything she does is hitting on him until he embarrasses himself by asking her on a date or leaning in for a kiss only to get smacked.

Then our very own Mohammed Jaafar sent me a heads up that this may have been in the works for quite a while.  It seems that Mocking Bird’s and Spider-Man’s closeness has been noticed by others.  Look at this page from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3. So it is quite possible that Bobbi hasn’t even thought about it until then.  On top of that, he pointed out this a CBR Spider-Mandate column which had these lines: “

Slott: No plans for Carlie at the moment. We’ve already seen that MJ is coming up. And we might start showing some sparks between Spidey and someone else, soon…

CBR: A superhero someone else, or a regular old person someone else?

Slott:Everyone is special, Alex. [Laughs]

So that’s probably the new relationship.  Pros – not Carlie.  Cons – not MJ.  Someone we can live with?  I’m not sure.  It further ties Spider-Man into S.H.I.E.L.D. and I’m not really a fan of the big team/organization stories.  However, the relationship is progressing organically and if Spidey is going to be an Avenger and hang out with spy types, I guess it was bound to happen.

The other thing to come from the panel is what follows.  Anna Maria hooks her arm around Spider-Man and says, “Bet we can make her jealous.”  This sparks this panel:



Which brings me back to my original prediction – Ock will come back in a Spider-Man body.  Maybe a clone if the Anubis looking guy in red is the Jackal.  However, the guy in red will “resurrect” the old Ock body (or something of the sort) and then we’ll have a Superior Spidey and Villain Ock.


asm11hulkWhat Passed:

Nick Fury stuck in the Space Station and consequences for destroying satellites.

Spidey’s new signature move – the arm pit punch.

The Hulk/webbing joke.

Impulsive Spider-Man – especially when he grabs the key and runs for the door saying, “What happens if somebody else gets there first?”

The art – Camuncoli draws a good Spider-Man.


What Failed:


Although it is a good Zoolander.

The Big Time joke – it was clever at first, but then overdone by everyone talking about losing the element of surprise.  That was a long conversation for one leap.   It felt a bit like loser Spidey was back, although this was really the only instance of it.

Yoink.  Again, fine joke, but overdone.  It was saved only by the Anna Maria/Bobby Morse scene.

The art  – while Camuncoli draws great superhero costumes, I did not really care for his Peter Parker or Anna Maria.  I really didn’t recognize Peter aside from his Spider-Man costume.

The reveal of Vernon Fury.  I know Spider-Man is an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (or at least a consultant), so we are going to have S.H.I.E.L.D. stories.  They just don’t interest me.  When he revealed that his last name was Fury and made references to nobody from Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. thinking about why he always had a key, I assumed there was a bigger story here from S.H.I.E.L.D. continuity.  It did not stir me enough to check it out.  Me.  The guy who cites all his research in Cobwebs felt no urge to research the story.  Something’s wrong there.  I’m betting it is just me, though, and that several of you appreciated the S.H.I.E.L.D. references.


Extra Credit:

Well, Mohammed gets super bonus points for his CBR and S.H.I.E.L.D. heads up, but you can too.  Nick Fury is trapped on the Space Station and signals Spidey using a laser.  This doesn’t work because the ISS is very small to the naked eye and the laser shouldn’t be able to be seen.   I really don’t care about that other than to give you a chance to go outside and see what Spidey saw himself.  Yep, you can track and get a glimpse of the ISS if you go to this site:  When you look for it, look for a faint star moving across the sky.  That’s what satellites look like.  If it is blinking, you found a plane, not a satellite.

Final Grade:

I didn’t love it.  I didn’t hate it.  I liked it more than I disliked it, so I’ll give it a:



Your Turn:

Break out your red pen and tell me your grade below.


What’s Next?

preview-asm12POWER PLAY begins here!

• The Amazing Spider-Man, Iron Man, Spider-Man and the rest of the All-New All-Different Avengers come together for this huge story!

• The most dangerous foe from SECRET WARS, REGENT makes his true intentions known – and it will take the greatest heroes of the Marvel Universe to stop him.



It will be here next week.  We’ll need Gemini and a magic Orrery to figure out the release schedule of this book!

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(38) Comments

  1. Mark Alford

    I'm in North Carolina. It gets pretty dark around here, but never that dark. I can get a good look at the sky and enjoy my telescope from time to time. I'll have to check out Arizona sometime..

  2. Kleaners

    @36. Thanks. I did a little bit of research on Mocking Bird after I posted. I didn't realize she's been around awhile. Where do you call home? If you ever get a chance to visit the Grand Canyon in Arizona, I highly recommend it. I remember driving and pulling off the road into an empty parking lot. Turn off the headlights and it's pitch black. Absolutely no light to be seen. You can't even see your hand in front of your face. The night sky is breathtaking.

  3. Mark Alford

    #34 - Yeah, the bad Iron Man parallels just keep coming. They intensify with the latest issue.#35 - Mocking Bird does have ties to Spider-Man. I believe her first appearance was in an old Marvel Team Up. As far as the relationship goes, there is no real connecting here other than what we are seeing. I don't know much about her other than what we are seeing in ASM. I think it is doubtful that it would be a long lasting relationship, off it blooms at all. I think more likely Spidey will misread the clues, make a move, and get shot down for the joke (but I hope not). I have pretty clear skies where I live, but I can only imagine what Arizona must look like.

  4. Kleaners

    Being that I only read Spider-Man, who the heck is Mocking Bird and how did this "love interest" start? I really don't like how new characters are brought into a universe without a real introduction to readers like myself.New U - I thought new universe as well. Then I thought, again?Am I supposed to assume Vernon Jacobs Fury is related to Nick Fury? If so, the white or black version?I visited Sedona, Az about eight years ago and did an astronomy tour. While I wasn't impressed with looking at white spots though a telescope, I was amazed how many millions of stars are visible when there's no light pollution. With the naked eye, you can spot satellites moving through the sky.

  5. tevya smolka

    this in my opinion is not a spider-man story it's a iron man story but done wrong

  6. Mark Alford - Post author

    What I like about the way the relationship between Bobbi and Peter is starting is that it seems that neither one of them actually thought about it until brought up by someone else. Someone mentioned it to Bobbi in S.H.I.E.L.D. and now it's on her mind. Someone brings it up to Peter and now it is on his mind. I don't think the relationship would last, but I like the idea that now someone has put the idea in their head, their attention is on the other person. It would be like if someone told you Sue was interested in you. You've worked with Sue for months. You are friends with her, but have never really thought about her that way. Now you can't help but see her in that lens. It may lead to something, it may not, but now that the idea is out there, it is impossible not to think about it.

  7. Al

    @#28: I was talking about whether Peter and Bobbi would be in a relationship in regards to Peter’s own feelings partially because this is his series but mostly because I know Peter’s character whereas I don’t know Mockingbird’s. All I know is she was married to Hawkeye, they got divorced, I think they might’ve had a miscarried child, she might’ve been replaced by a Skrull, she was awesome in Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes as part of Secret Invasion.As you know Bobbi better than I do I will take your word for it that she and wouldn’t be into Peter and honestly based upon my cursorary impressions of her here and there I got that vibe too. Even if this was pre-OMD Peter Parker they don’t seem to be one another’s type. I have similar feelings over Carol Danvers and Spider-Man.At the same time, I don’t feel creatively they’d even be a good match the way Peter and Felicia were obviously not one another’s type but you could garner interest from their contrasts. Mockingbird in this series doesn’t seem that interesting as a character nor would she seem like someone when paired with Spider-Man who would be interesting to read about in regards to their relationship.@#29: Is her intelligence and snark alone going to make a good match though? Felicia and MJ are Peter’s best love interests and they both had much more sunstance unto themselves that worked with who Peter was.Peter has never exactly outright stated he doesn’t find superwomen attractive but it’s pretty obvious when you look at the evidence. He imagined a suburban lie with 2.4 kids with BLACK CAT of all people. He was hurt that she wanted to play hero all the time. She acknowledged how important it was to him that they do normal things in one story where they were just going to have a night in. In an MTU issue by DeMatteis (which was ooc in some places admittedly) Peter is upset that he’s fallen in love with a costumed criminal like Felicia and finds his friend’s girlfriend attractive outright stating she’s gloriously normal. Then you just look at his character over all and you realize he mostly wants to have a normal life. He’s Spider-man mostly because he feels he has to be not because he outright wants to be, case in point ASM #50.Then you have the fact that barring Felicia he’s literally NEVER dated or tried to date a super powered person in his whole history, despite his contacts with many of them, in particular after OMD when he was an Avenger. He was an Avenger and he opted for Carlie Cooper and Mary Jane.Felicia doesn’t prove he is okay with costumed types, she is just in and of herself an exception, an exception born of his then recent break up with MJ, her overt attraction towards him (when he was only about 23 and had had just 2 serious relationships), her amoral but not quite evil personality and her desire to reform and frankly...her attractiveness to him. Consequently he made an exception out of her and it was clear he didn’t quite think things through in regards to their relationship long term.Obviously, Peter can see Bobbi is beautiful, and potentially might find her personality attractive (though not in this series, she seems to come across to me as too bossy for the type of ladies he goes for, most of whom have to appreciate his humour and have their own). But her status as a hero would still be a turn off for him and what he wants, much like someone might find someone else attractive but in hearing they are a cop would find romance with them a turn off due to the complications that job brings.

  8. Chase the Blues Away

    #29I think Dawn Greenwood is attributable first to Allred (she reminds me a lot of Joe from Allred's Madmen comic) and second to Stephen Moffat.

  9. Frontier

    @#27: And he's also dated women who are. But I was just throwing out reasons why they could, hypothetically, work as a good match.I didn't know he found women being Superheroes a turn-off, at least in terms of dating, though has he ever actually said that out loud? I know Peter's always wanted to settle down, and that was part of the issue with his relationship with Black Cat, but I never thought he outright avoided romances with fellow Superheroes because of it.Though I still don't think that would prevent him from seeing or appreciating their physical and mental attractiveness, which Bobbi has in spades, even if they're not his type in terms of what he wants from a relationship.@#28: I guess she could find some overlap with Hawkeye, in terms of what attracted her to Clint, if she took the time to get to know Peter on a personal level or worked with him to a significant extent as Slott would like us to believe they have. At least traditional Peter, not Slott!Peter.Now that I think about it, I think Dawn Greenwood from Slott's Silver Surfer has a heck of a lot more agency and character then most of the females in the current Spider-books. Maybe that's Slott, maybe that's Allred, or both, but still.

  10. Chase the Blues Away

    #22:"Plus…is Mockingbird in this series even that interesting? Thus far she’s just seemed to come off as critical and disgruntled."Well, she's not interesting because she's being written by Slott - nor does she seem even remotely interested in Peter.But doesn't BOBBI get a say in who she dates?! So far, both Peter and Anna Maria (and Slott, of course) act like this is Peter's decision to make.As someone who used to scoop up all the West Coast Avengers back issues I could find in the quarter bins and followed Bobbi's admittedly spotty characterization over the years: I don't see Bobbi wanting to date Peter at all.But sure, let's make this all Peter's decision. Agency in a female character? What's that?

  11. Al

    @#26: Peter knows a lot of smart snarky capable women but he hasn't found them attractive or wanted to date them. Physically he might find her attractive but he has a track record of finding fellow supers as turn offs. Normalcy is both what he needs and what he wants in a relationship, he looks for it outside of times when the chemistry is just really, really strong like with Felicia, but even then he wanted them to have a normal life together.

  12. Frontier

    @#22 - They're both smart, snarky, capable people? I'd honestly be shocked if Peter didn't find her attractive, even if he had no real interest in dating her. I also don't think he'd hold her being a fellow Superhero against her in terms of attractiveness. Maybe dateability, especially given she's older then him and a twice divorcee, but that's about it.

  13. Al

    @#9: Aaaaaaaaaaand Spider-Man doesn’t like superheroine girlfriends remember...Also isn’t it plain hypocritical of SLOTT to push the idea of Peter and Bobbi when Mary Jane was too unrealistic in his eyes because she was a sexy actress/model? Wasn’t that why Carlie was supposed to be so awesome?

  14. WolfCypher

    The guys over at Spider Talk, the so-called nice guys, who always try to find the good in these issues, they tore this issue up. Even they hated this.

  15. Al

    Spidey doesn’t date too often in the costumed set because it’s ooc for him to date people who are not normal. He doesn’t LIKE costumed adventurers, he wants normal women. We’ve known this ever since the 1980s with Black Cat.Plus it detracts from Bobbi who’ll be inevitably overshadowed and can anyone think of...well ANY reason why they’d be a good match?Anything at all?Sure he and Silver Sable got married in a What If and there was Kitty Pryde but there is a reason those were all AUs. Hell even USM Peter Parker dumped Kitty without even thinking about it for Ult MJ.I also don’t buy the relationship progressing at all organically precisely because Spidey (in addition to being OOC throughout this mess) just again, plain wouldn’t find Bobbi attractive, not least of all because she is a costumed adventurer. Peter wants normalcy but then again this is action figure MTU Peter who lives for being anything other than a normal Mockingbird in this series even that interesting? Thus far she’s just seemed to come off as critical and disgruntled.

  16. Ian

    I do hope 'monsters on the rise' could affect the Spidey titles with possible returns for the Man-Wolf and Morbius. I actually enjoyed reading this Zodiac story. I've always loved the very concept of this criminal cartel over the years.

  17. Cheesedique

    Why is Slott still on the title? Is it because no one would care about his story ideas elsewhere unless the title of "Spider-Man" is on the cover?

  18. jack

    If Scorpio knows a year ahead, then He will know how Spidey and Mockingbird will prepare for a year ahead, right? So why prepare?

  19. Realspideyfan

    A grade? Is it possible to even rate this? I mean I guess I'll give slott a participation trophy but that's about it.

  20. Ryan3178

    I give it a C. The conclusion was on and now we have our: "sneak peak" of the next year of the MU lets just get threw the Regent starting next week and get that most likely lackluster story out of the way.

  21. Chase the Blues Away

    #15 Cellular networks in general don't rely on satellites - cellular networks are a different beast than satellite networks - so there's still no reason for everyone to be so panicked about their mobile phones. But whatevs. It's a Slott book. Asking for real world science in this book is like asking the Easter Bunny to pose for a selfie while filling your Christmas stocking. I know my nitpicks are nitwitted. "My read on it was that for Scorpio, the move into next year is instantaneous. A year will pass for us, but only a second for him."So on panel, Scorpio stands in the doorway, and information fills his head. He doesn't need to step through the door to see everything instantaneously.Then Peter knocks him into a glowing blue void. Scorpio falls, screaming.Peter then locks the door from the outside.So...I guess I can see your interpretation, which also explains why Peter is so sure Scorpio will resurface in a year (and how Peter knows that, when he's obviously seeing the door for the first time and Scorpio gloats that no one has ever asked about it, is beyond me). But it sure looks like Peter is knocking Scorpio into a bottomless pit and locking him in without worrying about how Scorpio will survive or get out. I mean, if the glowing blue void sends Scorpio into next year - shouldn't he have, like, disappeared or teleported or something as soon as he entered it?And now I have officially wasted way too much time thinking about this - probably more than Slott did. But thanks for offering explanations!My grade: D for Dumb. It's not trying as egregiously offensive as some of his other issues, just tedious and ridiculous.

  22. Mark Alford

    @#3 - Maybe he was using landlines there to access the other PI people? I guess?@#4 - Yeah, the ending of this arc fizzled out a bit.@#6 & 7 - Thanks for filling in those gaps! I was trying to make the monsters and and skyspears fit into Spidey's story and was coming up short.@#11 - My read on it was that for Scorpio, the move into next year is instantaneous. A year will pass for us, but only a second for him.@ Everybody - so what grades do you give it?

  23. Jack

    Yebbut -- if a LMD has DNA, even duplicated DNA, that makes it organic. Maybe I've missed this during the decades, but are LMDs cyborgs? I thought they were robots/androids.

  24. ryan3178

    @11 The LMD copied Jacob's Fury's DNA and do to that it was able to take on his appearance the Zodiac Key couldn't burn him due to the fact that part of him was artificial (its well explained in Secret Warriors). As for this, yeah when you think about it, his new Scorpio comes off as a poor man's Kylo Ren who really doesn't know his grandfather wasn't really the original Scorpio, it was his evil LMD clone! Never thought I would type those words again. Either way, yeah, research wasn't done or it was and in Slott talk: "Just enjoy the story and stop trying to have it make sense."

  25. Jack

    Well, he could have stranded him on an irradiated planet, munching on mutated spiders. That would have been nice too!Something tells me that Dan Slott didn't check this too closely. I don't think LMDs can have children. They aren't THAT lifelike.

  26. Chase the Blues Away

    #10 - Wait. So if the original Scorpio was an LMD - then how the #$*(% can the Scorpio key have a "bond" with Jacob's family? Slott shows that only Jacob can properly wield the key - it burns Peter's hands. Is Jacob also an insane LMD? (Truthfully, considering how asinine and nonsensical his actions have been, I'd buy that).And since you made me go back and re-read that "Fizzless Finale" (TM #4 Jack) - gee, thanks - Peter says he smacked Scorpio into next year and they have 365 days to plan. But how does that make any sense? How does Spider-Man know it will only show Jacob the next 365 days? Logically, wouldn't it just keep projecting the next 356 days - so a year from now, Jacob would have the knowledge of the NEXT year? And what exactly does Peter think Scorpio will be using to keep himself alive for a year? It just appeared to be a glowy endless light - I didn't seen a McDonald's sign or a Sav-Mart. DIdn't Peter, for all he knew, just condemn Scorpio to a long, protracted death by starvation? How heroic.

  27. ryan3178

    What's really funny is that the "new" Scorpio is the grandson of Jacob Fury, the original founder of the Zodiac gang. Yet, it was established that Jacob Fury was not Scorpio, but a copy of an original LMD from the original SHIELD mini series by Jonathan Hickman, that thought it was Jacob Fury when it wasn't and went insane. Then the LMD Jacob sought out the Zodiac Key and founded the original Zodiac Gang. In a way it is almost like Slott using a Kylo Ren reference from the new Star Wars. With how Ben Solo was turned and worships his grandfather, Darth Vader even though Vader learned that the Dark Side was not the way. Here the new Scorpio iss: "My grandfather was the founder and leader of the Zodiac and I will finish what he started." Yet, it wasn't his grandfather and everything that happened with Jacob Fury and Secret Warriors is still canon. So, this guy became a super villain thinking it was his legacy when its all based on a lie. Which makes him look like a moron, but hey, he believes his grandfather was evil and was "turned" to the light, when it was never Jacob Fury to begin with.

  28. Frontier

    @#3 - Now that you mention it...even with Marvel Time, I think Bobbi should be decidedly older then Peter is, given she and Hawkeye were married while Peter was still in college, as I recall.But there are other reasons why a Spider-Mockingbird relationship probably won't work:- It seems hypocritical of the Spider-Office to go through with it when they resisted doing anything with Peter and Ms. Marvel, believing that Peter shouldn't date fellow Superheroes. And if Slott is the only one pushing for this relationship like Brian Reed was pushing for the Ms. Marvel relationship, I expect it will end up the same way.- Bobbi can do better then Slott!Peter.- Romances between characters with their own solo books and lives within those books are hard to pull off and not done often (or last very long). I'm also pretty sure Mockingbird's book is under a whole different editorial group then the Spider titles, so that's another knock against it.- You run the risk of taking someone who's currently a "strong, independent, smart female Superhero" with her own book and turning her into Spider-Man's girlfriend. And I prefer Bobbi with Hawkeye anyway.- I doubt Dan Slott is genuinely enthusiastic for a relationship like that, and even if he was I doubt he could write it convincingly or in a way that makes both characters come off well. Because Slott.

  29. Big John

    The Skyspears have been showing up in All-New Inhumans too. PI was called in by the Chinese government to check them out in #'s5&6 of that book. Spider-Man teamed-up with Crystal and her team and dealt with a Skyspear-possessed Collective Man.

  30. ryan3178

    I can fill out your questions that Scorpio saw in the future:Regent – We know this already, starting in a couple weeks.Heroes at each other’s throats – Civil War II (Bingo)New U – This is a plot going on in The Ultimates title with the new Omniverse and things transpiring in that and Contest of Champions.Norman Osborn in hiding – That the "Hush" Osborn isn't really Norman but is in league with the guy.Monsters on the rise –This is going on over in both Dr. Strange and Howling Commandos and a bit of Scarlet Witch. The return of the Marvel Universe various monsters.Skyspears – This is a plot that will be dealt with in both Guardians of the Galaxy and the "new" Quasar over in Captain America and X-Men.Otto Octavius – He is making his Superior Return!

  31. jack

    Does this ending count as another one of Slott's Fizzless Finales? It looks like all it does is tease future issues; then Scorpio gets shoved in, the end? They should have had Scorpio see a vision of how tasty Hostess cakes are, too!

  32. Chase the Blues Away

    Nitwitted pickings:1) Didn't Peter just gather everyone across his company as holograms in the last issue? Sure, Scorpio butted in but c'mon! They had enough bandwith to use HOLOGRAMS! And now communications are so down, they can't use a phone or email?!2) Which leads to: cellular networks are not at all that dependent on satellites. Just sayin'. But apparently asking Slott to use Google is like asking Slott to write natural sounding dialogue. Ain't gonna happen.3) Speaking of using Google: Yeah, that ISS scene is asinine. Not to mention, the ISS travels at a speed of 17,150 miles per hour and orbits the earth every 92 minutes - so even if the laser could be seen, Fury would be able to get out maybe two, three letters before it's on the other side of the planet (and how conveniiiiiiient the ISS was over London at that exact moment). Seriously, can we take up a collection and buy Slott "Physics for Dummies?" (Also, you can't see stars, much less the Milky Way as depicted, when standing in Piccadilly Circus. There's this real world concept called light pollution and...oh, never mind).4) Isn't Bobbi divorced? Wouldn't that make her, like, TOO OLD for Peter (Quesada's reason why Peter and MJ couldn't divorce)? Oh, Marvel, you are just so...cute.5) So let's see if I have this straight: Scorpio has underwater bases and flying fish mobiles (yet still had to use the Eurostar for some reason; it's so hard to get good supervillain customized transportation these days) and broke into the British Museum in broad daylight, just for a giant key to a giant door. (For someone who is called a terrorist, he did very little terrorizing, but remained pretty focused on the giant key). Yet he had all the insider access he wanted to Parker Industries. So he didn't need to steal the servers or Peter's personal webware or have a mole. All he did was tip off Spider-Man and SHIELD to his activities.If Scorpio were smart, he would have infiltrated Parker Industries, got the codes to the satellites via PI's deals with SHIELD, taken the Scorpio key by stealth in the dead of night instead of in broad daylight with guns blazing like an idiot, stayed in the UK instead of traipsing back and forth across the English Channel for no reason because he already knew the door was in Greenwich, and used Gemini to let him know when the ascension was coming. (Also, if Gemini could see a day in advance- couldn't they see where the door was?!) Then he could open the door without worrying about pesky superheroes on his tail. And THEN he could take over the world or whatever he wants -because we still don't know what his goals are, other than maybe he wants to play Powerball with his new knowledge- and pose a real threat.But if he did that, then he wouldn't be penned by Slott. Story logic must be Slott's Kryptonite. It apparently is so deadly to him, he must avoid all hints of it in his work.6) Slott really loves his convenient deus ex machina portals, doesn't he? First SpOck and the time portal, then Spider-Verse, now this. Oh well, maybe one day he can come up with a second deus ex machina device. Maybe. But doubtful.7) Wasn't there supposed to be some big deal about the 13th sign - the sign of the spider - as it said in the solicit? No? It's just some inconsequential plot point used to waste page space and then dropped like a hot potato in order to get another rushed, anticlimatic ending in the Slott trademarked manner? That's what I thought.8) I'd be intrigued by the future story hints dropped by Scorpio if I didn't already know those stories will be written by Slott so I already know they will be nonsensical fluff full of cringeworthy dialogue and flat characterization that fall apart with a half-second of serious thought and end like this one did: with a whimpering damp squib.

  33. PeterParkerfan

    By the way, my grade for THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #729 is B. I didn't really like the BIG TIME referece/joke/whatever in this issue. Like you said, it's kinda overdone.I liked the rest of the issue. Especially that part where Spidey uses his armpit punch.

  34. PeterParkerfan

    Eh? Spidey+Mockingbird?? I'm not sure what to think of this pairing...Hey, look. Ock is getting salty again.

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