Aunt May has forgotten who Peter is! Cormac is responsible and he’s evil(1) and is a supervillain named Ravage who caused May’s stroke and for her to forget all about Peter. Nothing is resolved, and it ends very quickly … because we need to make room for backups! Lots of self-contained backups that have nothing to do with the main story!
(Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to post all of the variant covers here, since it’s issue #1000. I wonder how many there are … oh, HELL no!)
BEFORE WE GET STARTED …
Yes, this is not my issue, this is Marco’s issue. I did the review of the previous issue, and am scheduled to do the following issue. But as I mentioned at the end of my previous review this is issue ONE THOUSAND! There’s no way I was going to let this go without doing a review (and yes, I cleared this with Marco months ago). Besides, this issue was delayed so long it feels like this week is my next regularly scheduled week.
CREDITS
Writer: Joe Kelly
Artist: Pepe Laraz
Color Artist: Federico Blee
Letterer: vc’s Joe Caramagna
PREVIOUSLY IN AMAZING SPIDER-MAN …
Just read my last review!
Ok, here’s a quick recap: Spidey is working with Agent Griffyn and Damage Control but ignoring Aunt May, who confronts Peter and he admits he’s been avoiding her to give her space to spend with Cormac. Ghost Spider runs wild and is stopped by Spidey. Griffyn and DC want to take her in but Spidey (and the Spider-Versity Squad) prevent this. But this is interrupted by Big Ric who calls Peter to tell him that Aunt May has had a stroke.
SUMMARY
Spidey races to the hospital after Big Ric told him that May has had a stroke. He arrives to find Cormac at her bedside. May wakes up but doesn’t know who Peter is.
(Andor did it better.)
May recognizes Cormac, who tells her that Peter is her nephew, but she doesn’t know him. Peter and Cormac go to the hospital’s chapel where they talk about how a stoke could affect May’s memory. Cormac says the same thing happened to his adopted mother and she never recovered. Peter is devastated when Cormac (now wearing a super-villain outfit) suddenly attacks him.
(Well, this costume design was certainly … a choice. Who had “Spider-Man vs. Birdman” on their Bingo card?)
Suddenly Peter is relieving his memories of getting his powers, deciding to use them to make money to support May and Ben, and how they took care of him – all the while Cormac is watching these memories.
Peter fights back, knocking Cormac across the room. Cormac reveals that he caused May’s stroke and memory loss, to “exhume” Peter from her life.
Suddenly Peter and Cormac are fully costumed and outside the hospital fighting, where Cormac reveals that he is … Ravage.
(Whoops, let’s try this again.)
(That’s more like it.)
Spidey tells Ravage to undo what he did to May, which he refuses. He takes out a maul which is somehow made up of May’s memories. He swings it at Spidey and it misses, but it causes Spidey to relive more childhood memories of May.
Ravage reveals that the Maul is made up of May’s essence (all of her memories of Peter which he removed from her), which weakens Spidey enough for Cormac to knock him onto a tram car while he uses his powers to try to remove more of his memories of May: Peter using his powers to make money, letting a criminal go, finding out Ben was killed, and catching the Burglar, realizing it was the criminal he let go.
Ravage sees all of this, and realizes that his birth father died because of Peter, and that he never got to meet him. Incensed, he tries to kill Spidey, saying that he doesn’t deserve May and that she’ll be better off without him. Meanwhile the cables holding the tram car break. Spidey touches the essence-maul and remembers the anniversary of Gwen’s death when he and May had a discussion about how dangerous it is for him to be taking pictures of Spider-Man, but he hears her inner thoughts at that moment of how she thought that he was “as fine a man as they come”. This realization gives him the drive to knock Ravage away and save the falling tram.
Spider-Man realizes it’s time for round two, and goes to find Ravage.
(Wait, that’s where we’re ending? But it was just getting … I don’t want to say “good”, but it was getting … something.)
TO BE CONTINUED!
Oh right, there are other stories in this issue! Enough of them that their combined size dwarfs the main story! And like most of my previous reviews where there were backups, they are unrelated to the main story. But since (let’s be honest) there’s not much to this main story, why not discuss them now before I get into what I liked and didn’t like about the main story. So once again, here are a bunch of … mini-reviews!
Still Standing
Writer: Noah Hawley
Artist: Patrick Gleason
Color Artists: Marcio Menyz & Erick Arciniega
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis:
We get an alternate future of Grandpa Peter in Forest Hills Nursing Home. He still has his powers and a family that visits him – a son (Miles), daughter-in-law, and grandson (who has his powers and is the current Spider-Man). A new woman joins the home, and she looks like Gwen would look now. When alone with Peter she says she *is* Gwen. He doesn’t believe her, but his guilt over Gwen’s death makes him believe her. Peter tells Miles, who is worried about Peter, so they go to Gwen’s room, which is empty. Later Gwen visits Peter and he thinks his new meds are affecting his mind; she says she’s real and that there are people after her. That night, three masked men break into her room. Peter attacks them, but it’s three orderlies in an empty room. Peter meets with his grandson who believes him, as his own spider-sense detects another resident who has been watching Peter. It’s Quentin Beck, aka Mysterio. The grandson confronts Quentin, who reveals that he’s dying and he wanted to torment Peter, but realizes that it was mean. Quentin goes to Peter and tells him the truth, offering him one final chance to interact with Gwen. Peter thanks his grandson for believing in him, and realizes that he’s “still standing”.
Review: This was a pleasant surprise. We’ve had alternate Spidey futures before, most notably old man Peter in Reign. But this seemed like a more likely future for our Peter Parker – an old man, living in a nursing home, visited by his family. We only see one photo of MJ (in a wedding dress!) and no mention is made of her, but this Peter isn’t pining over her as if he caused her death, so they likely lived a long, full life together and she passed away. I liked the idea of old man Mysterio tormenting Peter to make him think he’s going crazy, but then realizing it’s just cruel. Peter naming his son “Miles” is a bit weird though – that feels more like a middle name.
Grade: B+
(We’re lucky we didn’t get this old-man Spidey.)
Requiem For A Goblin
Writer: J.M. DeMatteis
Art: Humberto Ramos & Victor Olazaba
Color Art: Edgar Delgado
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis: Years ago, Peter and MJ are at Harry Osborn’s funeral, but he transforms into the Green Goblin, leaps out the Goblin, yells “GOTCHA!”, and chokes Peter. It’s all a dream because Peter is worried about Harry’s funeral today. At the funeral MJ consoles Liz who is there with her step-brother Mark and her son Normie. Peter sneaks out to go to one of Harry’s goblin lairs where he imagines talking to Harry, but isn’t sure Harry was ever his friend or if he was always “the Goblin”. Suddenly Norman appears and says that is Harry’s problems were caused by being raised by a terrible father like him, then couldn’t Norman’s problems be similarly caused by his own father? Norman says that if Harry had lived he would have reverted to his Goblin persona. Peter denies this, and Harry asks Peter if he actually believes this. Later Peter returns to the funeral, admitting to MJ that Harry was his best friend, that they loved each other, and that’s how he’ll remember him.
Review: It’s hard to go wrong with JMD and Green Goblins. When I started reading Spidey comics, Norman was already dead and in the past, so Harry was always *my* Green Goblin. This feels like it picked up right after Spec #200. I thought we had already seen Harry’s funeral but I think Stephen Grant did Harry’s will reading and that was it? Anyway, this was just the right amount of parental abuse and psychological anguish I’d expect from a JMD Goblin story. My only negative is the Ramos art.
Grade: A-
(Seriously, how does stuff like this get past editorial?)
Tears of the Spider-Queen
Writer: Frank Miller
Artist: Peach Momoko
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis: Umm … (ok, I’ll try) … a little girl with green hair is being chased in the sewers by a group of robed, cult-like figures who capture her(2). Spider-Man is web-swinging in the city when his spider-sense warns him of a danger that he must follow. He is attacked by the robed figures and follows his spider-sense into the sewers where he finds a giant green spider with portions of the girl’s body who asks him to kill her. The robed figures appear and attack Spidey to feed him to their “goddess”. The spider attacks the robed figures, killing them, and transforms back into the girl. She asks Spidey who those people were; he tells her it’s just a nightmare and that he’s taking her home.
Review: I have no idea what is going on in this issue. Why would this be allowed to be part of a centennial issue, let alone issue 1000? Yes, it’s Frank Miller, but this story makes no sense. We don’t know who this girl is, why these people are after her, why she transforms into a giant spider, and why she transforms back. I would think this is part of an existing story/characters, but it’s not. It’s a big mess. The art is nice but it’s not good Spidey art – it’s probably the only good thing about this story.
Grade: D-
(Ah Morbo, why can’t you be editing this book?)
The Big Night
Writer: Triple H (with Rob Fee)
Art: Ed McGuinness & Mark Farmer
Color Art: Matthew Wilson
Lettering: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis: Young Peter races home to find that Uncle Ben did indeed get wrestling tickets for the two of them. On the way Peter is excited to see the match. Ben takes the opportunity to tell Peter that he’s proud of him. They arrive at the arena to see Crusher Hogan. In the present, Spider-Man is at the same arena watching Crusher Hogan fight Demolition Man while holding a photo of him and Uncle Ben at the match years ago.
Review: This reads like “What if Paul Jenkins came back to do a 5-page wrestling version of his “Maybe Next Year story”, which is not a bad thing. It’s short and sweet. Writer Triple H is a former wrestler and works for WWE, so that explains why this is about wrestling and not baseball.
Grade: B+
(How has Wolverine never sued this guy?)
The Gesture
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immonen
Color Artist: Marte Gracia
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis: Spidey is complaining that Rocket Racer is getting a movie when his Avengers membership card starts buzzing and tells him to report to Avengers mansion. He’s on his way when he’s attacked by White Rabbit, Firebrand and Basilisk, who have teamed up to kill Spidey for disgracing them in the past. Spidey manages to defeat them, and a kid in the crowd returns his dropped Avengers card to him. Spidey arrives at Avengers mansion to find only Captain America, who reveals that today is the anniversary of Spidey’s first public appearance, and they wanted to give him a trophy to honor the occasion. Cap salutes him, and Spidey tells him the story of Uncle Ben.
Review: I like when other superheroes recognize Spider-Man’s history, dedication and body of work, so I liked the surprise at the end that the Avengers had summoned him to honor him. And of course, in typical Parker luck, he was late to his own party and missed it (the Hulks ate all the food). I’ve never liked Spidey in the Avengers (it’s no surprise that this was written by Bendis, who put Spidey in his Avengers book because he wanted to write Spidey, not because it made any sense) but Cap showing Spidey some respect was nice. The trophy was ugly though (of course Tony chose it).
Grade: B-
(The trophy in the story showed zero effort was made by Tony creating it.)
Of Webs And Six-Guns
Writer: Larry Lieber
Art: Giuseppe Camuncoli & Klaus Janson
Color Art: Rachelle Rosenberg
Lettering: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis: Peter is with MJ in Central Park, falls asleep, and somehow wakes up in the old west where he teams up with the Rawhide Kid to help him take down a gang that’s trying to kill him. After defeating the gang, Peter returns to the present, thinking it was just a dream, but he has lipstick on his cheek from a kiss a woman in the old west gave him.
Review: This is just weird. Spidey time-travels back to the old west … how? Why? Who knows? How and why does he come back to the present? You got me. We get the old “it was all a dream” explanation but then the lipstick on Peter’s face means it actually happened. It makes sense that this was written by Stan’s brother, the guy who wrote The Stalker From The Stars, a notoriously bad Spidey story that makes just as much sense. I did like that the Rawhide Kid and Peter both had an Uncle Ben who was killed as part of their origin.
Grade: C-
(When people find out they have relatives with the same name.)
I Can Never Rest
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Marcos Martin
Colorist: Muntsa Vicente
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
Synopsis: Two police offices are chasing a criminal; Jake is wounded, Arthur Simekski other chases the criminal. Years ago, Arthur was trying to stop the Burglar in Amazing Fantasy #15 that Spidey let go. In the present, Arthur is past his retirement but is still trying to capture the Five Boroughs Burglar. Years ago, we see Arthur show up at Aunt May’s home the night Uncle Ben was killed. He realizes the killer is the Five Boroughs Burglar and tells Peter that they have him trapped in a warehouse. At the warehouse they see the killer lowered on a web. Back in the present, Spider-Man has Tarantula webbed to a building. Arthur shows up; Spidey recognizes him and apologizes, but Arthur says that he could never catch the the Five Boroughs Burglar but Spidey did, and that thanks to him no other people died besides Ben. He says that he was able to rest thanks to Spider-Man.
Review: Josh Bertone once joked (on the Amazing Spider-Man Classics podcast, I think) that Dan Slott would take the kid who saw Peter crawling up the wall in AF #15 and do a mini-series about how his life turned out – this story reminds me of that. This issue is all about this cop – Spidey is barely seen except for the final page. This is a nice story, about a cop who can’t let that one case go, and how he’s finally able to let Spidey know how much catching the Five Boroughs Burglar meant for him. Dan Slott can do great work when he does out of continuity, single-issue stories; where he fails is when he is doing long form storytelling in the present. However … the problem with this story is that the character who yells at Spidey for letting the Burglar go in AF #15 was not a cop, it was a security guard named Baxter Bigelow (established in ASM #200). A self-proclaimed “Spidey superfan” like Slott should have known this. Still, a nice story about this obscure character. And the art is gorgeous.
Grade: B+
(Whoops.)
INITIAL RESPONSE
(Someone start producing these.)
Well, here we are. Not only a centennial issue, but *the* centennial issue. Number one thousand. This should be something big. Huge. MASSIVE.
But instead we got a plot that everyone saw coming months ago. A long lost son? No one was surprised to see him revealed as not just evil, but a villain who wants to take Aunt May away from Peter. It’s not just a bad and lazy plot, but an incomplete one. The issue (well, the main story in this issue) just *ends*. Pretty much every previous centennial issue is either a self-contained story, or it’s the final issue of a multi-issue story, but they all have an ending.(3) This story doesn’t end. It just … stops.
WHAT I LIKED
The art is great. I used to complain that Laraz was great doing the outer space and in-costume stuff, and bad at drawing normal people and faces, but he’s gotten better (or I’ve become more accepting).
Before Cormac went full supervillain, I liked his and Peter’s conversation. It was very mature and honest and frank – just as any conversation among family about an elderly loved one in the hospital would be.
(Right before Cormac’s character goes down the crapper.)
The idea of Ravage is an interesting one. Someone who invades someone’s mind to erase particular memories to make their own life better is intriguing. I’m assuming this is how he’s lived his life – erasing other people’s memories to make himself successful.
I like that Cormac has a legitimate reason to hate Peter – he’s responsible for the death of his birth-father. Cormac never got to know him – or even meet him – because of Peter’s inaction.
The trip through Peter and May’s memories is cool and well done and looks great. It’s befitting of a centennial issue to go through Peter’s origin/history with May and Ben.
(I must admit I didn’t realize the shape in the center was Aunt May’s silhouette until my second readthrough.)
The idea that Peter getting to hear Aunt May’s inner thoughts from a memory of his own and that’s what inspires him to fight back against Ravage is nice. And him choosing to save innocent bystanders and letting Ravage go is so Spidey.
Hmm … yet another time this section wasn’t as long as I thought it would be.
WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE
I mean, what else is there to say about Cormac aka Ravage? EVERYONE saw this coming. Well, maybe not him becoming Ravage, but we all knew that he would turn out to be evil, and some sort of villain. I know Spider-Man has always been part soap opera, but having a never before heard of child suddenly appear is a terrible soap opera cliche. And having them turn out to be evil even moreso. Joe Kelly is a *good* writer, I thought maybe he was going to subvert expectations and not do such an obvious development with this character?
Cormac, in the middle of a hospital, with plenty of witnesses around that could walk into the chapel, decides to change into his costume and attack Peter without warning. Despite us all knowing he’s going to eventually be revealed as evil, he’s been portrayed as good in (almost) all of his previous appearances. And yet suddenly he just turns full supervillain here?
Ravage’s design … what are they going for here? Is he a bird? What is with the feathered cloak? And that giant bird mask/weapon? And his helmet?
(“Beware my mighty maul which is made up of my mother’s memories! Forget ‘Ravage’, from this point on, call me ‘Mama’s Boy’!”)
While I liked the presentation of the memories, the narration from Peter and May comes across a lot like Dr. Manhattan thinking about his life.
(Guess which issue of Watchmen is Joe Kelly’s favorite?)
Again, Ravage has a legitimate reason to hate Spidey when he learns that Ben is dead because of Peter’s inaction. But by this point Ravage is trying to kill a tramcar full of innocent bystanders, so any hope of making us sympathize with him is gone.
And then the story just … ends. And it’s not even an actual ending. The story was just getting going and it’s “to be continued”. For an extra-sized issue, we couldn’t have an extra-sized main story here? We couldn’t have left out 1 or 2 of the backups to have a longer main story with an actual ending?
May is in the hospital – where is everyone else in her life? Cormac says Big Ric is getting coffee, but where’s Aunt Anna? Mary Jane? Everyone at FEAST? May runs FEAST, shouldn’t all of the employees and residents be visiting her?
Let me try to understand Cormac’s plan – he wants to erase May’s memories of Peter, and erase Peter’s memories of May, so they’ll be literal strangers and then Cormac can have her all to herself. What about everyone else in May’s life that knows that she has a nephew named Peter that has been her closest family for decades? Is Cormac planning to erase all of their memories too? What about any documentation, legal documents, etc that mention Peter? If his plan succeeds, what happens whenever anyone that knows May and Peter contacts her? Is Cormac planning to erase the memories of ALL of these people? Unless he convinces May to move away from everyone she knows, this plan is full of holes.
I never thought I would say this, but … only Big Ric can save us now!
Nothing about Hellgate, Raelith the Wretched, Glitch, Symbie, Damage Control, why Ghost Spider was out of control – were all of the issues leading up to this centennial issue pointless? (once again I have to thank Hellgate for sitting around doing nothing while his planet is on the brink of destruction)
WHAT THIS ISSUE MEANT OVERALL
Well, this was issue #1000. On the list of centennial issues it’s definitely close to the bottom for me. Even the ones that I didn’t like very much didn’t have this predictable of a plot development, and they (more or less) actually had an ending for their story.
It looks like for the foreseeable future, Cormac will be Peter’s primary focus as he tries to undo the damage done to May’s memories. Marvel wants us to think that May not remembering Peter could be permanent. Yeah, sure.
GRADE
C-
This issue (main story) really annoyed me. Not only was it predictable but it’s incomplete. A centennial issue doesn’t come across very often, and an issue where we are literally “crossing a thousand” shouldn’t be this obvious of a plot development,(4) and the story shouldn’t end mid-story (“mid” is being very generous). The art and the memories are what save it from the D-range.
NOTE: This grade is *only* for the main story – each backup was graded individually. But if you’re the type of person who needs a grade for the overall issue, well, I guess I’d give it … a B-. The backups (most of them) are where this issue shines, which is a failure of the issue.
NEXT TIME, IN AN ALL-NEW ISSUE OF AMAZING SPIDER-MAN …
(To paraphrase Barney Gumbel, “Look at the size of that picture frame!”)
FOOTNOTES
(2) The Marvel Wiki says her name is Allison and this is her first appearance. And that these robed figures were The Hand. This story doesn’t tell you any of this.
(3) Some clarifications:
- Issue #100 ends on a cliffhanger which is continued in the following two issues, but it’s mostly about Peter rethinking his history and deciding if he will get rid of his powers, and he does make that decision.
- Issue #400 ends with Peter getting arrested for murder, but the issue is mostly about Aunt May and her death.
- Issue #700 ends with Peter “dying” and Doc Ock taking over his body, but it’s really about the “end” of the Peter Parker Spider-Man, and the beginning of the Superior Spider-Man.
(4) I have my problems with Venom’s origin in ASM #300, but at least I wasn’t expecting a character like Venom. And if you tell me that you were reading #100 and were expecting it to end with Peter growing 4 new arms then you should be out buying lottery tickets instead of reading my review.
