Spider-Captions-Underoos Edition

19 Comments

1. NOOOOOOO!!!!… my eyes….

2. Is it wrong you own those? No. Is it wrong if you wear those?……..

3. Is it wrong that I own those? Is that bad? hehehehe

4. Tell me, do they make Spider-bras too?

5. Its gross how hairy he is……oh, I’m sorry, were you focusing on something else?

6. You and your uptight bankers. No cleavage and now no crotches!?!?! LOL
   The podcast will be up tonight so it’ll push it down.

7. Anton,
   That is sooo classic. Your Spider-Vitamins are on the way!

8. Dear Brad Douglas,

   Now I know that I may be known (if at all) as a wiseacre who occasionally posts a (supposedly) humorous comment to some image posted here on the front page of this message board. Until this moment, I have enjoyed your message board and your podcast. But I must lodge a complaint now, sir! I am a lurker—a long time lurker, true, but “only” a lurker—and perhaps rightly or wrongly there will be given less weight to my complaint. But I must strike a blow!

   I must start by saying I have suffered the last two weeks one of my infamous migraine headaches. To give you an idea what one of these headaches feel like, first find an eight-inch long railroad spike and shove it into your right eye. Now keep it there. Just when the soft tissue feels like it is oozing back into place, turn the spike slowly, about one revolution in a minute. Does it hurt in dull, sinking way, yet? Good. Now every time you move your head just a little too fast, punch yourself in the stomach four or five times. If you feel vomitous, you’ve done it right.

   Now imagine entire world has suddenly become too loud and too bright. Looking into an ordinary office now feels like you are staring into the sun. (Don’t forget to turn the railroad spike again and again!) If your eyes continually water now, you’re in the same condition I was recently.

   Even with earplugs, sounds—especially high-pitched ones—have a piercing quality. Imagine with every baby’s cry, a dull ice pick penetrates your ear. This Christmas, the ringing of the Salvation Army bells has been its own special little hell. I don’t even want to contemplate those bloody happy little carolers.

   Mr. Douglas, after having patiently read this screed, no doubt you are wondering why I have described the pain of my last two weeks. Well, sir, I have just arrived at the point where I no longer need to wear dark sunglasses and earplugs to finish my Christmas shopping and I can once again watch television and listen to the radio (and podcasts) without wincing, and everything is just about back to normal and right with the world—

   –and THEN I saw THAT!

   Mr. Douglas, expect a bill for my prescription in the mail!

   😉

9. OH DEAR GOD!!! I think I’m blind! Why, Brad, why?

10. This severely diminishes my interest in clicking on the board. At least it’s memorable, though.

11. *hooack* I just threw up a little…at least I lifted my mask up…

12. Brad, what in the holy hell is WRONG with you?!?!?

    It’s the censored kibbles-n-bits from Reign!!!!

13. I need to post more news, because it’s disturbing to have a man’s crotch as the top story. LOL
    BD

14. Berryman I TOLD YOU THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO GET SPIDEY MARRIED AGAIN LOL

    Joke aside i feel ill lol

15. Dude c’mon. I was eating here. Damn you Kevin….and damn you Brad for posting this.

16. BD, how could you post that…thats disgusting..

17. Ahahaha, that’s kinda disturbing….

18. Please don’t let my girlfriend see these,please don’t let her see this, PLEASE!

19. Two words: mylar condoms.

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