Amazing Spider-Man #558
Bob Gale & Barry Kitson’s Freak the Third
When reviewing these stories I’m going to try to concentrate on covering arcs. That means I’ll tackle the single issue stories in their own entries, which’ll be shorter since there’s not as much to cover. So how does Freak’s return go down? Is he less one-dimensional or has he gained any depth as a character? Or does this story just make buffoons of everyone appearing in it?
Buckle-up and let’s find out!
Summary:
Doc Connors feels impotent. Spidey wants to find Freak before he returns. Menace shows up – people yawn. Connors & Spidey beat the bad guy.
More below the fold!
Specifics:
This one-off issue follows up on Gale’s earlier Freak arc, which I’ve already taken a retrospective look back at here and for being just one issue it’s pretty flawed. Menace and Freak really scrape the bottom of the imagination barrel for Spider-villains and you know… as much as I hate Venom in the 1990’s even he was written better than these two.
First up – this issue’s got some groan-inducing dialogue. In one panel Doctor Connors, feeling responsible for Freak, actually says…
“Damn this one arm! If only I was whole again. If only I could…”
Now Crawl Spacers, that’s painfully bad to read. That remark in context is Connors lamenting that he didn’t lock up the biochemcials that Freak shot up with. So presumably Connors is wishing here that he was “whole,” that his “one arm” apparently stopped him from locking up the advanced serum formulas that he created. God Almighty. The guy can research animal DNA like no one’s business and he’s Hell with the day’s best bio-technology and lab equipment. But apparently he’s going to whine about “not being whole” which, as Gale would have us believe, is stopping him from locking things up. Are you freaking kidding me? Seriously? He’s even talking about how he’s “worthless” here, which adds an even new level of analysis when you look at ‘Shed’ and how it implies the Lizard (aka Connors) raped his lab assistant. You know, after eating his own kid.
Ahem.
The dialogue keeps getting worse. When Spidey comes across Menace later in the day the lame Goblin knock-off utters the phrase “Who’s your daddy, Spider-Coward? Who’s your daddy?” And this is why readers can’t take Menace seriously. With Menace it’s clear from the get-go that the ‘Brain Trust’ was trying to ape the success of the Hobgoblin in the 1980’s by introducing a new Goblin-type character surrounded by danger and mystery. Back in the 1980’s it was handled by Roger Stern and Tom DeFalco and it was filled-to-the-brim with smart plotting and fantastic characterization and development. Menace’s stories in Joe Quesdas’s Brandnewverse has none of that whatsoever! The ‘mystery’ is clumsily evolved and there’s no reason to be interested in Menace because Menace isn’t interesting! He’s (well, she) is just another generic super thug with cookie-cutter villain dialogue. Jeez, Scooby Doo villains are more interesting than Menace.
But before Menace and Spider-Man can even get into a tussle Spidey heads off when the police threaten to have their snipers open fire. And hey, I can totally see why sniper fire scares off a hero who is able to dodge machine gun fire and who posseses a Spider-Sense that alerts him to danger would be scared off by that. Especially with Menace threatening the life of another politician coming so soon after Spider-Man having witnessed a politician dying because of Menace first-hand. Ugh.
Let’s jog back to the dialogue. Apparently Freak’s third resurrection (so far he’s bulletproof and fireproof) also took away his potty-mouth. So we’re not deluged with that silly fake comic swearing that was all over the place in Gale’s previous Freak arc. In correcting it (which is good!) we have the added problem of inconsistency since Freak’s not talking the same way he was through his first three issues. And that’s why having him in earlier as one of the most foul-mouthed villains to ever grace the pages of Amazing Spider-Man was a bad idea from the start. Freak gets nothing added to make him less generic (aside from his powers) or more interesting. At all.
Aunt May comes across badly here as well, getting giddy about Peter moving out when Peter’s actually feeling bad for leaving her. Now that’s consistent for Peter’s decades of characterization but not so much for Aunt May.
I also haven’t said much about the ongoing subplot with Jonah’s heart attack thus far throughout Quesada’s Brandnewverse. This subplot’s interesting when Jonah’s bombastic nature’s not being overplayed. Marla’s sold the paper for Jonah’s own good and is saying she’s left him for a bit so he can calm down and they can discuss where they’re going from there, while reminding him she loves him. That’s legitimately interesting stuff! And it’s a shame that we see little of it. We’re losing more interesting Jonah stuff for the sake of non-interesting and forced Carlie/Vin/Lily stuff. Pity.
Overall:
Good Stuff?
Barry Kitson’s art. If I have said it once I’ve said it a thousand times and I will keep saying it. The art, to this point in the Brandnewverse, has not been a problem. And Kitson’s take on Freak is actually the most eye-pleasing yet. Unfortunately the writing doesn’t match that.
Bad Stuff?
Oh God, everything else. Menace and Freak are laughable here, though that’s expected cause there’s not a lot to them to begin with. But Doctor Connors really takes a character hit here with the “Oh curse this damnable missing arm of mine!” panel coupled with his feelings of worthlessness. And Spider-Man? He goes from not wanting to kill Freak at the beginning of the story, to the point of not really entertaining it as an option, to instantly being A-OK with it the moment Connors drives up with a trunk full of quicklime. This might make more sense if he’d been fighting with Freak this time for three issues in a gruelling war of attrition. But that’s not what happened here. Freak hadn’t even hit Spidey at that point and the innocent bystanders had already fled!
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Great review George!
That line by Connors was just lame. It came across as completely out of character for a scientist who has lived for years with his handicap and more than compensated for it. As George pointed out he handles expensive lab equipment and does detailed research with just one arm, so how is it he can’t lock up chemicals? I could see it if he admitted to fatigue due to long hours and forgot to secure the chemicals. That would be more realistic and keeping in character.
The line by Menace “Who’s your daddy, Spider-Coward? Who’s your daddy?” didn’t really come across as a clue at all. When have we ever seen Liz talk like that? To me it come across as the babblings of a warped mind.
I remember during Civil War (about issue #3 I believe) a reviewer said the series was so bad Marvel should stop it and issue an apology. I wish they had done that, because of all that mess and everything involving Spider-man after it, it made all these writers job just impossible… in my opinion.
I really don’t blame any of them for the fact that the book is much less than it was 200 or so issues ago or the fact that the writing seems off and the characters seems off.
Sorry, sorry! 🙂
@Berryman – Take a stinking compliment, will ya? 😉
“More or less liked it”… I dunno. “Didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would” is probably more accurate. It’s a deeply flawed story.
I know Berryman is a staunch anti-BND fan. Everyone knows that. He’s very outspoken about it. So you shouldn’t be surprised when you read his reviews and every other sentence has some sort of bash against BND. This is not about being objective, especially for storylines that were published over two years ago. When I’m reading his articles, I know well in advance his stand, but I want to know his opinions on specific Spidey issues. For one thing, he’s already said that New Ways to Die “did not completely suck” so I know he more or less liked it.
@timtahoe – With Connors, through dialogue, regretting not locking up the chemcicals and then immediately decrying his handicap (via laughably bad writing)… all I did was follow the conversation. No bias necessary!
@Spider-Dad – “I would have to say George is being pretty fair, despite his “bias”, and to me this makes his posts more credible than someone that gushes love or spews hate about every little tidbit…”
Thanks, Spider-Dad. Pro-OMD/BND readers keep missing when I do actually give a BND credit for doing something well, or when I’ve said something positive, and I’ve done that in these reviews.
I agree with timtahoe on the Doc Connors line and characterization. When I read this originally, I saw this line as another delusional comment by Doc Connors that if he could only be whole or somehow control the Lizard to stop Freak. This was commonplace in early Stan Lee Lizard stories, but it feels out of place now that Doc Connors realizes the threat Lizzy really is. However, I have to back and re-read the Lizard story in Sensational to get a better feel for how Doc Connors thoughts on this. I tend to remember there was a revelation that Doc Connors was more aware of the Lizard personality and not so Jekyl & Hyde.
@timtahoe: “There is a distinct bias by many that post here towards hating what has come after OMD, and they will skew events to make it fit their bias. Just know that going in.” That cuts both ways. There are fans that also will LOVE everything Spider-Man, regardless if the issue blows monkey chunks. It also must be noted that all comic fans sites have their folks that are strongly endorsing BND ASM and others that are disparaging it and the Crawlspace is no different. So when looking at anyone that is posting their review about anything, it will have personal bias regardless of their position. That is the whole point. However, you have to consider the source. Are they constantly bashing EVERYTHING or are they being fair and pointing out likes and dislikes? I would have to say George is being pretty fair, despite his “bias”, and to me this makes his posts more credible than someone that gushes love or spews hate about every little tidbit…
I understand AmFan, I do. I loved the character of Mary Jane as Peter’s wife, and was sad/mad to see it end in an embarrassing story like OMD. That does not change the fact that there is a bias towards disliking the stories that have come since, whether it has merit or not. I enjoy reading George’s posts, and think he is a very intelligent person, so when he states that Doc Conner’s is lamenting his one arm keeping him from locking up the chemicals, I have to believe he is looking at it from a biased viewpoint. The text shows IMO that Conner’s is lamenting forgetting to lock up the chemicals, but also is unable to do anything about it after the fact. Spider-man thinks so too, that is why he says not to do anything hasty, because it could lead to being the Lizard. Becoming the Lizard wouldn’t put the lock back on the cabinet, but it would allow him to fight Freak. Curt wasn’t feeling impotent because he couldn’t put a lock on the door, but that he forgot to lock it, can’t do anything to fight Freak, and can’t even fix the window Freak broke. It’s that kind of mentality that caused him to experiment on himself in the first place. Wallowing in self-pity is right in character.
My problem with this issue was more in Spider-man allowing Menace, who just attempted to murder someone, to escape to go after Freak, who was not necessarily an immediate threat. Spidey was shown to have a cell phone in the same issue, so make a call to his Avengers pals, or the FF, to give them a heads-up that Freak is out there waiting to hatch.
timtahoe says: “There is a distinct bias by many that post here towards hating what has come after OMD, and they will skew events to make it fit their bias. Just know that going in.”
Let’s get one thing straight…the only reason I hate everything after OMD is that MARVEL MURDERED AND ERASED EVERYTHING I’VE EVER KNOWN AND LOVED ABOUT THE CHARACTER! They took every great story, all the character development, and all the continuity of the last 20 years, and flushed it down the crapper. And what do we get in return? A Spidey who’s so busy deciding who’s bed he’s gonna get into tonight, that he almost doesn’t have time to fight such fearsome villains like…(sigh) Menace, Freak, and Vomiting Vulture. Not to mention dead characters returning to life inexplicably, the entire world’s perception of reality is skewed, and no one, even Dr Strange, seems to notice.
We’re not skewing things to fit our bias. Q is skewing EVERYTHING to fit his BS!
Please let me know when the nightmare of BND is over.
Teck, when I originally read that the issue, I also felt it was a clue as to the identity of Menace. In the finale of “New Ways to Die”, Lily kisses Pete to keep him from grabbing the book “Rise and Fall of the Norman Empire” on a bookshelf where all other books had been blown off during an explosion. Where I thought “wow, what is she hiding?” many here perceived it as Peter trying to be a “player”. There is a distinct bias by many that post here towards hating what has come after OMD, and they will skew events to make it fit their bias. Just know that going in.
Please don’t make excuses for them, Teck…you only encourage them to continue putting out such drivel! (And apparently, they don’t need much encouragement!)
In retrospect Menace’s line could showcase her immaturity and provide a clue to her identity as the screwy Lily.
““Who’s your daddy, Spider-Coward? Who’s your daddy?” And this is readers can’t take Menace seriously.”
Are you kidding me? THIS is the kind of writing that ASM has come to? Man, am I glad I stopped reading before we sunk so low!
And as for Aunt May, with the exception of JMS, NO ONE has written her well since ASM#400. That was a perfect, touching sendoff, and (as with SOOO much of Spidey’s “continuity”) should have been left alone!
I recall Joey Q’s reasoning for Aunt May’s giddyness was that she was happy her nephew was finally getting on his own two feet but the way I read that scene I thought it was played for laughs and badly at that point. If they wanted to respect Aunt Mays characterisation they could of returned her to her normal doting over-protective self, even that’d be more believable then a “YES” face, or if they really wanted to show she was happy there was a 1000 different better ways to do it.