Amazing Spider-Man #671 Review

Spider-Island approaches its climax in part 5, and its several plot threads finally start to pull together into a semicoherent whole. The narrative is still pretty ADD, and there’s still some filler, but it’s at least got me curious about how all this insanity is going to conclude itself.

Star Wars Episode IV… er, I mean, Spider-Island Part 5: A New Hope

Written by Dan Slott

Pencils by Humberto Ramos

Inks by Carlos Cuevas & Victor Olazaba

Colors by Edgar Delgado

Letters by Joe Caramanga

Every week I read this book and I come out of it with a headrush. It’s hard to know where to begin when reviewing an event like Spider Island. So much happens in one issue, and the beginning isn’t always the most interesting place to start.

But in this case, the beginning is exactly where I want to pick up, and I’m talking the cover. It’s of special note to me because, when reviewing ASM #670, my biggest complaint was that the potential of the cover was never lived up to. This issue was a step in the right direction. I really did enjoy the two pages of MJ action that this issue opens up with, and hey, for Spider Island two pages is a lot.

Still, it’s a bit saddening to me because an entire issue could have been devoted to these two pages, and it would have been a far more interesting story than this convoluted Spider Wars thing we’re getting instead. I’ve often thought about a story where MJ gets to try being Peter for a day, and I loved her dialogue as she embraces having spider powers: “So this is what it’s like? Hate to admit it, but I get it now. I really get it. On every level.” (Then it gets cheesy, but I’m just focusing on these lines.) I hate to sound like a broken record, but this is quickly becoming the theme of Spider Island for me: this little blip could have been a truly great story on its own, and it’s just a real shame it’s been squeezed into so much less interesting stuff. But I do still have the sense that MJ might have a greater role to play, because having been the last to gain powers, it seems she’s being set aside for something. I really hope I’m right. And I’ll be the first to admit that it gives me a bit of contemptuous pleasure to know that MJ’s kicking ass and saving people while Carlie is a spider monster somewhere.

But there’s just no time to dwell on MJ. I feel like a college teacher trying to fit the world’s largest textbook into one semester. We’ve got a lot of material to cover!

The good news is that Smythe isn’t dead, although I still feel that the way he came close to it was unnecessary and unpleasant. As he’s being pulled away for medical attention, he drops a clue I found rather interesting: apparently, they have all the spider-slayers they need. I spent a few solid minutes trying to come up with what he means by this, but I haven’t got a clue. I’m hoping this will lead to a rewarding mystery and not a deus ex machina. 

But meanwhile, Reed’s finally got his cure—his anti-venom, if I may—and The Queen’s not so happy about it. We finally meet the mysterious “number 6” here, by the way, and his appearance is so short-lived I don’t feel the need to spoil it. It’s a cameo, though, and it could turn out to be an interesting one if anything is done with it.

Oh, by the way. The Spider-King was Captain America. I guess this is what I was supposed to find out in Venom? This is a prime example of why I hate event books. It’s not like it even detracts from the story not to know that up until now, but isn’t that a problem in and of itself? Why should I even care that Cap was the Spider-King when he’s had no involvement in this story previously? I prefer not to think about it, as it just forces me to try to piece this story in, continuity-wise, with Fear Itself, and it’s painful enough trying to keep events straight on their own! But we all will know now, forever, that for a brief period of time Captain America was a giant spider monster, and nobody noticed.

All this is in aid of, finally, establishing that Reed and the Horizon gang get to think up a way to restore Spidey’s spider sense. Yes, you read that right: even if Carlie becomes human again, one good thing will have come of Spider Island. I really hated having Pete stripped of one of his most defining abilities, so it’s a major relief to know that’ll be back. 

The issue concludes with a pretty decent fight between Spidey and the Tarantula, who’s found his way into Horizon in hopes of finding a cure. This sequence is well done, and manages to dominate nearly the last eight pages or so, which was a very welcome relief from the pacing I’ve grown accustomed to. I always like battles where Spidey’s trying to fight his foe and protect something or someone else at the same time. It creates tension; here I felt really uncertain as to whether Tarantula would succeed in destroying the cure, so this battle really worked for me.

I’ve also always wondered why Peter never bothered to further develop his knowledge of hand to hand fighting. This was touched on during the Straczynski run when Steve Rogers taught Pete and MJ some self defense, but it never really came to prominence. Spider-Man’s powers are ideal for hand to hand combat, and it makes sense for someone to start training him in ways to overcome physically superior foes. It makes for a satisfying conclusion to the issue, especially in combination with the return of spider-sense. and results in another cameo. There were really only two options at this point as to the Tarantula’s identity, and I wasn’t surprised which one they came up with, but I do have to say I was a little surprised at how they went about it. I’m not going to opine about it until I see the next issue.

Naturally, we won’t have a proper conclusion to all this absurdity until the Queen is defeated. Unfortunately for the good guys, she seems to have entered Final Boss mode. Looks like the spider-sense fix did something to her as well. Hey, you can’t have a climactic final issue without a god-like villain to topple, right? I’ll be glad when this is over, but part 5 had just enough going for it to get me interested in knowing how the whole debacle ends.

Pros:

  • MJ with Spidey powers hit all the right buttons.
  • The return of spider-sense. Finally.
  • Nice fight scene concluding the issue.

Cons:

  • The story still changes track way too often, and is full of unnecessary diversions. The beginning and end are nice, but almost the entire middle is a spastic chore to get through.
  • MJ’s scene, though nice, is another example of wasted potential. Such an important experience for her deserves at least its own issue!

Grade: C+

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23 Comments

  1. 21: I think he still does. Just because many people do come back to life in comics doesn’t mean everyone will, so Spidey obviously would still not want that on his hands. It’s like if we lived in a world where stolen goods sometimes randomly disappear and return to their owner – it wouldn’t suddenly make stealing ok. 🙂

  2. I think the Spider-fu was just an atempt on an original power upgrade…forgetting that the original Spider-girl had martial arts training as well…

  3. I really hated the MJ pages, and with the Spider-Sense back the Spider-Fu seems more pointless than ever. Aside from mentioning the fact that he was applying nerve strikes (after a few months of training?) in dialogue I can’t tell a difference between the way he’s fighting now and the way he’s always fought (jumping around really fast and pummeling his foes). What we needed were some inset panels showing Peter striking at specific limbs or blocking attacks like what you sometimes see in a Shang-Chi or Iron Fist fight scene.

    Aside from those quibbles I liked the issue. Still ready for Spider-Island to be in the rear view though.

  4. I think at this point Pete has seen so many people die and come back to life that it really doesn’t bother me much for him not to be surprised. In fact it would almost be worse. I sometimes find it annoying when writers try to pretend like death is a big deal in cape comics (see One More Day, for example!)

  5. I would say that, in terms of plot developments and twists, this was probably the best issue of “Spider-Island” so far. When it comes to Ramos’ art, on the other hand? Way too many times it looked cluttered and confusing. He’s was definitely better at drawing the cover this time around. 😉

  6. @#11: You make a good point, the readers know these guys are alive but Peter doesn’t. He should be more surprised than he is.

  7. Dexter Fletcher said, “Not a fan of MJ’s dialouge here “I’m the only superhero you need” sounds egotistical on her part…”

    She hasn’t exactly been a font of humility ever since, “Face it, Tiger, you just hit the jackpot!” 🙂

  8. Not a fan of MJ’s dialouge here “I’m the only superhero you need” sounds egotistical on her part, but still, I’m glad she’s proving herself a hero whilst Carlie Sue is helpless as a giant spider…sadly, Peter will STILL pick her over MJ in spite of all this, and that alone makes this story bogus. If I knew my best friend was doing all this, I’d dump Carlie for her again in an instant, but Peter’s written like an idiot so that won’t happen.

    I’m glad this site gives the book a low rating, I feel from other sites spider-fans have just lowered their standards in order to enjoy this crap.

  9. @11 Yeah, considering Pete buried his “brother”, and it was not even that too long ago like Jackal’s death. Small nitpick I know, oh well …

    Anyway …

    Now that Kaine is in the running for scarlet spider. I was thinking why the need for a new costume when Pete could just loan him one of his new Big Time outfits [stealth or armor]. Hell, he could have MJ wear the armor for next issue if they’ll be teaming up. Oh, and now that spider-sense is back, I’d love to see a rematch with Massacre.

  10. @9 Someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but as far I know, Peter doesn’t have any reason to think that Kaine and the Jackal are anything but dead. The fact that he isn’t surprised to learn that either of them is alive really says something about the quality of the editing and the writing on Amazing Spider-Man.

  11. I wasn’t all that surprised by the reveal of #6. IF anything I was a bit disappointed it wasn’t who I thought it was rather than being “OMG! It’s ******!” It was entertaining read but considering the other stuff Spider-Man is currently in with marvel FF and Fear Itself, the events of Spider-Island feel out of place or just not that overall important when the world seems to be either ready to be taken over by evil Reed Richards or evil Asgardian Gods (a bunch of human spiders seems to pail in comparison).

    I’ll be happy frankly when this and all other “events” come to an end and pray we get some stand alone stories of characters in their own books so that we won’t have to worry about character A Being in book A and book B at the same time facing different ‘life threatening’ situations.

  12. I was surprised that Pete had no reaction to Kaine being alive. I haven’t read deadly foes, does Pete know that Kaine crawled out of his grave?

  13. “This seems to be the only review site on the ‘net that is not ecstatic about Spider-Island/Slott’s run on ASM. Not sure I understand the negativity”

    That’s not true, i read a few sites which reviewed this book that did not like it. There is no negativity here at all.

  14. Surprised you came in with such a high grade, seemed more destined for a bad grade.
    It is interesting to see how much lack of tie ins hurt this book, I think Venom has been mostly essential to this event, but unlike the event, holds up on it’s own.

  15. Btw there was never any question as to the identity of Tarantula. Not if you read Grim Hunt.

  16. This seems to be the only review site on the ‘net that is not ecstatic about Spider-Island/Slott’s run on ASM. Not sure I understand the negativity but w/e

  17. Woops! Thanks for the heads up, specialist. Looks like I’ve failed to disguise my rookie status. Fixed. 8)

  18. Also, Fear Itself takes place before Spider-Island. Took me a while to figure it out myself, but in Fear Itself, Spider-Man wants to be with Aunt May when it looks like it all may be over, whereas in Spider-Island, May and Jay leave for Boston at the beginning of the story.

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