Spider-Captions # 294

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1. Meanwhile on Earth-69 with Peter Porked-Her…
   *Insert tasteless joke referencing a totem “pole”*

2. “Hey Ed. Ten bucks if you reveal your secret identity.”

3. “Hahaha!
   Okay, that’ll be thirty bucks.”

4. Evan wins.

5. “Mentos. The Freshmaker.”

6. I’m gonna call Fox and ask if they can make a TV show based on Forest Hills,NY about all my villains before they became villains and about how Uncle Ben and Aunt May made the best pancakes. We’ll call it “Forest Hills”. Do you think they’ll hire me to play Uncle ben since we now know hes a totem?

7. Greg thought everything was going great, until Hannah unbuttoned her shirt to reveal her Silk costume….

8. “Honey, guess what? Sony just hired me to play Spidey in their next movie! They even gave me a sample costume. Now it’s true I have no acting experience at all, but it’s not like Sony is hiring random people off the street because they have no idea what they’re doing.”

9. “…so a buncha guys dressed in these EXACT SAME pajamas came bursting thru a white hole in the air on the way to pick up this delicious picnic food. It sounded like they were going to take me away but there was also a pig and he convinced the rest to let me stay! What luck! Sobwe’ll be able to premeire on Broadway nect week!”

10. Peter: “Remember when I use to do this? Those were some good old days… who are you again?”
    Mary Jane: “Your wife.”
    Peter: “Didn’t we make a deal with a demon to have that erased?”
    Mary Jane: “Sounds like your dementia is acting up again.” “Why would you ever do that?” “Next thing you’ll tell me you had a hotdog with Loki.”
    Peter: “I did.” “Didn’t he turn into a woman once?” “Then a kid?”
    Mary Jane: “May, honey!” “Daddy needs his meds!”