It’s surprising that Spider-Man has never been characterised as rich, beause considering the plethora of Spider Powers at his disposal you’d think he’d be able to earn enough money to retire and go and sit on a secluded beach somewhere – too bad that he’s always concerning himself with saving others. With great Spider Powers comes great responsibilities, or something along those lines, right?!
But just for a minute imagine that Spider-Man needed a ton of cash – just how would he go about dipping into his arsenal of superpowers and getting his hands on a great big wad of cash?
- Busting into Fort Knox
Although Spider-Man is not one typically known as a Marvel superhero that dominates his enemies by use of force, there’s no doubt that he certainly has the ability to crush them. It is said that Spider-Man can lift approximately 10 tons. However, in a particular story, The Queen, Spider-Man’s strength was doubled, enabling him to lift over 20 tons. Interestingly enough, the front door to Fort Knox weighs a little over 20 tons too – giving Spidey the chance to enter the most secure and valuable vault in the world!
- Playing the Hitman
As Miles Morales, Spider-Man has an innate ability to camouflage himself, which is very unlike our dear Spidey, who certainly tends to prefer making a bold entrance. However, if push came to shove and Spidey was desperate for cash, he could always turn his hand to being a Hitman, sniping unsuspecting villains for cold-hard cash before blending into the background of the night to avoid being caught.
Rake it in at the poker tables
Spider-Man also has history as a bit of a poker ustler. Back in The Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 2 #21, titled Read ‘em an’ weep, his Spidey-Sense enabled him to successfully call the bluff of Kingpin and prevail with his four-of-a-kind nines. If he’s capable of calling the bluff of a member of the Fantastic Four, surely Spidey would be capable of running over cash game tables at a high-stakes casino poker room? One successful night of action could leave him very rich indeed! If he was feeling particularly lazy, he wouldn’t even need to leave his living room to play. The popularity of online poker mean’s there’ll always be someone to play poker against day or night, with some online poker rooms home to more than 10 million registered players.
- Stand-up comedian
Let’s face it, one of the most endearing features of Spider-Man – and what makes him such a fantastic character to follow – is his quick-witted nature. He’s not backwards in coming forwards with sarcastic jibes at his enemies in the heat of battle. In fact, in almost every battle he has he brings out one-liner jokes, knowing how to catch his foes off guard without the need for physical force. With such a good sense of humour, Spider-Man could make a handsome living as a stand-up comedian!
Can you think of any other ways Spider-Man could use his Spider Powers to secure money than these? Let us know! Not that we think he’d do it anytime soon but hey, in this world of constant superhero spinoffs and alternative universes and timelines, who knows?
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That selling the web fluid thing happened in amazing 18?ish? When he gave up being Spider-Man the very first time, aunt may was sick and he needed money. He also tried to get into trading cards, but that didn’t work either.
Was it in the Lee/Ditko run where he tried to sell his web fluid formula to some scientists? But when they realized it evaporated after an hour they didn’t want it.
In a What If from the 70s (where Spidey stopped the burglar and Uncle Ben lived) Peter remained a TV star and eventually went Hollywood, making lots of money starring in Spider-Man movies.
We saw Peter try to do stand-up comedy in a Paul Jenkins story and bombed spectacularly. But the way the story was written it was more because he was doing it as Peter. If he was Spidey on stage he wouldn’t be as bad.